Personal Stories

It was like she didn’t exist

I don't remember having trouble with my vulva, her shape or anything, but that doesn't mean I was comfortable with her. Actually, it was like she didn't exist, that wasn't something I was thinking about even if I was already sexually active. Since I began to know more about body positivity and personal development, I'm more aware of myself and my body. It helps me a lot in my life in general.

E – 20 years old (she/her)

For years I avoided any sexual activity with boys

When I began going through puberty at age twelve I started to notice big changes. I never had a problem with my body before, but then I saw my vulva change its shape. My cute inner labia were suddenly bigger than my outer labia. It horrified me. I thought I was the only person in the world who looked like that. I made my mom take me to various doctors throughout my teen years to look into labiaplasty. However, no doctor saw anything wrong at all with my vulva. So why did I? I felt like every single person, my friends, doctors, mother, were lying to me. For years I avoided any sexual activity with boys because I was terrified of what they’d think. It wasn't until I was 18 that I finally started to be sexually active and noticed that not one partner saw anything “weird” about my vulva. Now, I am still uncertain about how I feel somedays, but I definitely made big progress. How can I hate something so freaking empowering?

J – 20 years old (she/her)

My Vulva (capital V)

My Vulva (capital V) had never been my own. Once, the lips were too black. Once, it had too many folds. Once, it was too full and once it was too small. It was all of these things and none of these things because it had never belonged to me. It belonged to others: other men, other women, other others.

My Vulva (capital V) only became my own once I had a break up, broke down, and then found my way back home. When I found the courage to brand my cheek this past Halloween, in eyeliner, with the hashtag I never felt I belonged to, #metoo. My vulva only truly became my own once I found the courage to share it here with a beautiful stranger, Hilde. A new, old friend.
Be brave, fellow humans. Our bodies only find freedom when we can look at our flesh and call these human shells, in all of their unique forms, our own.

T – 28 years old (they/them)

It feels so good to finally start letting go

CW: Mention of sexual abuse

My relationship with my vulva has been a turbulent one. Feeling guilt and shame from non consensual encounters throughout my life exacerbated into self loathing. In my teen years I would waste hours a day researching labiaplasties but thankfully from that I found projects showcasing diversity. The first time I saw the vulva gallery, it felt a weight had been lifted. Seeing how our bodies can be put into beautiful pieces of art made me realise just how different everyone is and how that’s nothing to be ashamed of, rather the opposite.

I'm still on the journey of accepting myself as I am but it feels so good to finally start letting go.

Anonymous – 22 years old (she/her)

My body doesn't have to look a certain way to be beautiful

Growing up I always thought that being clean-shaven is what made a woman's body desirable. I used to shave my pubic hair and the result was always itchy red bumps. It was painful every time. Eventually I realized that it was more important for me to be comfortable than to make my body appear pleasing to others. I've started grooming my body in ways that made me feel good without thinking so much about what is considered conventionally attractive. I've come to the conclusion that my body doesn't have to look a certain way to be beautiful. What matters is that I'm happy with it.

A – 20 years old (she/her)

Bumps are stigmatized as being bad and dirty, which they’re clearly not necessarily

Thank you so much for my vulva portrait, and for the opportunity and making this so widely available to anyone with a vulva. It means so much to have such a private (and historically shameful) thing be represented beautifully in art and media. Your work is fantastic and I’m truly inspired by your message.”

Update with additional words of the person this vulva belongs to: “The bumps on my vulva were a bit concerning to me at first, thinking they were a sign STD/I. They didn’t hurt or effect me at all but I went to my OBGYN to checked out anyways. My doctor was unconcerned and said everything looked normal, that bumps like those pop up here and there on some vulva owners and they should go away in time. I still got a full panel of tests which all came back negative and sure enough the bumps went away by themselves!

I was actually a bit excited to have those bumps when I had my portrait done, as bumps are stigmatized as being bad and dirty, which they’re clearly not necessarily. Since then I’ve had a few come and go and feel comfortable with them.

S – 25 years old (she/her pronouns)

I understood my vulva is fine

I'm eighteen years old, and I used to think my vulva was ugly. I saw people of my age having sex and I could not do the same cause I was scared about what people would think of my vulva. I really hated it a lot – until I found this gallery and I saw a lot of different vulvas and that made me feel good. I understood my vulva is fine and I could start having sex, and although I have to admit that it is still hard for me, I'm working on it every day. Thank you for creating this beautiful gallery, you're the best ♡

I – 18 years old (she/her)

Slowly starting to love myself.

CW: Mention of abuse

I have always been insecure about my body, from my chest to my stomach to my vulva, I always found flaws in my body. These got in the way of my past relationships and the way I would feel when I was naked with a partner. These insecurities started to run my mind and I noticed my mental health deteriorate. After getting out of an abusive relationship, I told myself starting that day, I would be on the road to slowly starting to love myself. These insecurities slowly turned into confidence and I started to own the body I am living in. When I found Hilde's page, I loved seeing the diverseness of vulva's and the stories of each and every one of the amazing people on this page. xoxo.

D – 22 years old (she/her pronouns)

I am still afraid people will judge me

I am 18 years old and I have always been insecure because of the irregularity of my inner vulva, I only had sex once and felt really uncomfortable, my then partner asked if I was a virgin and when we finished he said he didn’t believe me because the look of my vulva suggested that I have slept around. This has shaken me and I went home in tears. I am still afraid people will judge me even though I know I shouldn’t, I am trying to overcome this fear and this gallery has helped me so much with accepting my look, I shared it with my mum and my close friends. Thank you, Hilde, for doing this!️

M – 18 years old

Now I definitely LOVE my vulva

I've always been a person who loved to explore her body. I explored my vulva and vagina at a very young age on my own, and I liked my body; it was just like anybody else's. But when I started puberty and my lips started to grow I was really scared and I hated them. I thought they weren't normal and nobody would ever like them. I was scared to find a partner because I didn't want him/her to see me naked. Also, ingrown hair appear every time I wax and I found them horrible and disgusting. But then my first (and last..we're still together) girlfriend arrived and her vulva looked very similar to mine! She really taught me how to love it and now I definitely LOVE my vulva, I would never have a different one! Having a loving person by your side sometimes helps you to see yourself under a different light, a better one. I hope that everyone on this planet will be able to love their vulva, it is great just the way it is and each one is special and beautiful.

Anonymous – 20 years old (she/her)

There is no right or wrong way to wear your own body hair

I remember being 13 and having a boy ask me how I maintained my pubic hair for the first time. Up until that point the message I had gotten at home was that pubic hair is natural. Over time, his inquiries made me curious. What would it be like to have no pubic hair? After that, I shaved for 10 years until I realized that I didn't actually like it. I have since learned how I like to manage my pubic hair, that there is no right or wrong way to wear your own body hair, and that nobody else can decide how you should care for your body.“

J – 25 years old (she/her pronouns)

Life is too short to hate your body

Since I ever discovered its existence, I’ve had multiple issues with my vulva. First, it was its existence itself that caused me a problem. I wasn’t comfortable with my womanhood and wanted to be a guy so I was ashamed of it and for years when I started my sex life (exclusively with girls) I never got undressed or let anyone see it, so I was exclusively topping. The other issue I have with it is its lack of sensitivity; no matter how hard I tried, the area is completely numb. But I’ve grown to accept my vulva because there’s nothing I can do about it and live with it! Because life is too short to hate your body.

K – 18 years old (they/them)

I'm still fighting to accept myself

Ever since I can remember myself I had issues with body image. When I started to go through puberty my vulva started changing along with my body, and during that period I was diagnosed with a number of autoimmune diseases. I was uncomfortable with what I was seeing in myself and felt betrayed by my body. I was constantly comparing myself with people around me and the woman in the media I was watching, who I imagined as healthy. I tried inserting my inner lips back into my vulva to create the "perfect" image I was seeing in porn and that people around me talked about.
I even considered a surgery when I heard theres one that can 'fix' me and my lips. Around this time I got into the lgbtqia+ community and came out as bi and then as queer. I started surrounding myself with beautiful and different people and working towards accepting myself in a 'fake it till you make it' sort of way. I went through a lot of changes in my appearance and figured out what I love about myself. And in a weird way, doing the clitoral hood piercing helped me love my vulva exactly as it is. I'm still fighting to accept myself and love myself as I am, and I hope I'll be able to help others to do the same. Thank you for this page and everything you do.

M –

She didn’t look like in porn

CW: Mention of r*pe

How, how could I hate the most amazing part of my body?! It was easy: she didn’t look like in porn, I always heard it was weird to look like I do, I also went through a rape as a teenager which made me hate her even more, as if it was her fault?

I am now 24, and wow honestly, I love her so much. Not only do I think she looks amazing, I also love all the feelings she can give me (and others)! She has been through so much trouble but wow, when she is fine, she is amazing! I call her my butterfly, she kinda looks like one with her wings sticking out, and she can also make me feel like flying. No more hate ever, just love! 🦋🦋🦋

J – 24 years old (she/her)

Diversity is everywhere

Like many people, it has been hard to love my vulva. Actually, I never had any worries about her until I saw porno's vulvas. Perfectly shaved vulvas with small inner labia. I feel like I was badly formed and that it would be weird to talk about it, so she became a complex: I was afraid to be naked in front of anyone, I was disgusted. The first time the doctor told me about small labia "inside of big labia" I didn't even understand what she was talking about as mine protrude. Later, I was told that every vulva is different, but I still believed inner labia have to be smaller than outer labia. So when I discovered The Vulva Gallery, I was relieved but also amazed to see how unique vulvas are! I even learned that most vulvas have bigger inner than outer labia. Finally, diversity is everywhere; to not celebrate it is a crime! No one should be ashamed of what they are because the difference is what makes us beautiful :)

L – 19 years old (she/her)

There is no ideal shape and colour a vulva should have

I‘d never really given much thought to what kind of a relationship I have with my vulva. From a very early age on I was curious about it, I looked at it and I noticed, that touching it felt just great and made me feel relaxed. I rarely thought that I was doing something sinful or disgusting. It just felt very natural and there wasn‘t much of a sexual connotation to it. That part developed as I got older and more influenced by western culture‘s perspective on the female body. When talking to friends, family members, and reading articles and books about related topics, it only became more clear to me that, unfortunately, it is not as common to be as calm, relaxed and satisfied about it, as I was. This is why I want to contribute to The Vulva Gallery. I think it‘s a great way to portray vulva diversity and my hope is that it makes people realise that there is no ideal shape and colour a vulva should have. For no reason at all should a person feel ashamed of it and try to live up to someone else‘s expectations. After all, when it comes to sexual organs, shouldn‘t it be more about what one can do with them, what they can make you feel, than what they look like? Do people also care about their tongue‘s shape and colour while tasting their favourite dish or drink their favourite cocktail?

A – 30 years old (she/her pronouns)

One way or the other we are all together on our way to self-love and freedom

I want to apologise to my vulva for all the times I didn't stop painful sex because I thought it couldn't be over until a man's orgasm. I want to apologise for all the times I thought my pleasure was secondary, my pubic hair was offensive or my lubrication was too much, or something I should be ashamed of. I am still learning and it is hard. Shame and sexuality have walked hand in hand most of my life. My vulva has been at the centre of a lot of pain but nowadays it is mostly a door to freedom ♥️ It feels amazing.

I want to thank my vulva for all the pleasurable and beautiful moments she gave me. I am a non-monogamous bisexual and very sexual woman and I'm learning to be proud of who I am. It is comforting to know that one way or the other we are all together on our way to self-love and freedom.

I – 22 years old