Vulva portraits & Personal stories

There’s a lot of power in recognising yourself in someone else’s story, and thinking: ‘Hey, that’s me, that’s how I feel too!’. Many of us aren’t used to speaking about our vulvas, but it can be very helpful to know that other people have the same kinds of experiences or insecurities.

Since 2017, The Vulva Gallery community has been sharing their personal stories with me. Here you’ll find a selection of personal stories and vulva portraits from all around the world.

Not a mark of femaleness, but just a beautiful part of my body

My relationship with my vulva has evolved over time. Whilst I’m non-binary, I’ve never had a feeling of disconnection about my body. I’m happy to have a vulva. I have brief moments where I would feel better with a penis, but those are fleeting and often tied to sexual fantasies, not everyday life. Growing up, I felt a little self-conscious about my vulva. The longer inner labia, for example, didn’t match what I had been made to feel was the norm. I felt that maybe there was something wrong with it; it took me years to look at it in a mirror. As a person who sleeps predominantly with people who also have vulvas, however, I have been so lucky to encounter the variety that exists out there. I love that they are all different and yet all so beautiful. The fact that I find them all wonderful makes me feel confident about my own. I’ve also been incredibly fortunate that all my sexual encounters have been positive and – in the case of my sexual relationships since I came out as non-binary – not necessarily tied to gender. I can engage with my vulva, both sexual- ly and in an everyday sense, in a way where it doesn’t feel like a mark of femaleness, but just a beautiful part of my body. But I know that’s not the case for everyone, and as a member of the trans community I know how privileged I am to have that.

Anonymous – 30 years old

There’s nothing to be ashamed about

I use to be extremely self-conscious about my vulva. I felt that it didn’t look right, it wasn’t tight enough, pretty enough, and I didn’t really understand oral sex. I was very insecure around the topic of oral sex and having a male partners go down on me – yet I would return the favour. I find overtime every woman has just become empowered and except her body for what it is. I found through passion and self acceptance we can find pleasure and embracing imperfections that make each one unique. There is nothing to be ashamed about. 

O – 21 years old

Your anatomy doesn’t define you

I am a man with a vulva. I am also Transgender and Non-Binary. My pronouns are he/him/his. This is my story and how I experience body dysphoria and body euphoria when it comes to my vulva and anatomy.

I haven't always been okay with my anatomy. Being assigned female at birth and going through female puberty was a struggle for me. My body was changing in a way that didn't match my brain and who I knew I was on the inside. I had to navigate the world in a body that I couldn't recognise when I looked down. I felt disconnected to my body, like it wasn't my own. As if my body belonged to someone else. Now as an adult, I've been doing a lot of self discovery. Really focusing on myself and not comparing my body to other trans and cis men's bodies has helped me a lot. I am my own person and this is MY body. Now when I look down, I see ME. I think this would be a fantastic thing for all people to focus on. Your body is your own, everyone is unique. Your anatomy doesn't define you. This is also where being Non-Binary comes in for me. As a transman I wear a packer and a binder out in public, presenting fully male. And that's valid. But when I come home to my partner I can feel more comfortable with my body and how I express myself, revealing more of a Non-Binary side of myself, I can be as masculine or not so masculine as I want. (I wouldn't call it feminine though, it would be more of a middle ground feeling). It's really freeing to be able to do that. While I still experience different forms of body dysphoria, I have equal experiences with types of body euphoria. This why I've chosen to opt out for gender affirmation surgerys for the time being. Right now this is where I am in my gender journey, things may change in the future and that's okay. I'm a man, and I'm okay with having a vulva, because some men do. I’m okay with having breasts as long as I can bind safely. In my mind a perfect world would consist of not being judged on your appearance and anatomy. People would be free to wear and find pleasure in whatever they want while having diverse body's and personalities. Not having to worry about people labeling them based off their anatomy, clothes, hair, pronouns, gender, sexual orientation, exedra.

R.E.R. – 22 years old

I have the best vulva that can be in this world

Most recently, I began to realise the beauty of his vulva. For about a year now I consider her to be the most tender and tasty (for her boyfriend, haha). I adore every menstruation, every daily discharge, all cosmetics for the care of the vulva. I have the best vulva that can be in this world.

K – 20 years old

You are stronger than you believe

I have always struggled with my little lady. Between hormone imbalances, many treatments, and many forms of birth control, I started to resent my body, especially her. She was like this little devil on my skin that caused me pain. It took me a long time to find the beauty in her imperfections. I now love her, her unevenness, her scars. I’m proud to say I came out stronger from my struggles! For those reading this, don’t give up, you are stronger than you believe.

L – 20 years old

Perfect just the way she is

I always had a good relationship with my vulva until I started sharing it with others. Words cannot describe the feelings of disgust and shame I had. I always thought I had a ‘fat vulva', I would hide it with loose clothes otherwise I was convinced people would think I had a penis. My labia were so long that they got tangled and my partner's would struggle to get through. My hair was always thick and rough which often caused chafing. I ignored my vulva, always, unless I was gritting by teeth through the embarrassing moments when my abnormal body would betray me. Moments I was suppose to be enjoying. That was until I had a daughter. She was born with very unique labia. Upon the hospitals regular inspection after birth her labia were noted as deformed! My question was "deformed compared to what?" her body still functions perfectly, she is not in pain or suffering. She is perfect just the ways she is. I'm determined that she will know that we are all unique. That different is not deformed. I'm sharing my vulva with you, it's hiding under a generous mons pubis, robust protective pubic hair, covered in scars and blood. I'm not gritting my teeth anymore.

K – age not shared

It is amazing to be part of this community

I have always had a pretty intimate relationship with my vulva, particularly since I swam for 16 years, I was comfortable touching it, pulling a swimsuit out of it in public, and having it covered by a piece of polyester perfectly shaping it for all to see. However, for a long time I was ashamed of the way my vulva looked. My inner labia hang quite low compared to my outer labia, my hair grows wild, and I get red bumps with even the slightest irritation. It wasn't until my senior year of college, as I was leaving an increasingly unhealthy and abusive relationship, not only towards me but towards my vulva as well, that I truly began to reconnect with myself and my vulva. 

Many things contributed to my growth; the end of my swimming career sparked my adoration for my bush, and regaining my self-confidence urged me to be positive about and proud of all parts of myself. My current partner, who I met during this time of reclaiming my pussy power, has also been an unforgettable part in my ability to love myself again, a journey I embark on daily. He doesn’t make me feel ashamed and loves my vulva the way it is, and however I want it to be. 

I think the human body is beautiful, and yet we are so often made to feel ashamed of our own. So when I saw your gallery, I fell in love. I had never wanted to send someone a photo of my vulva more. It is so amazing to be a part of a community in which empowers anyone with a vulva to support each other in showing off, being proud of, and loving our vulvas as they deserve.

B – 24 years old

Celebrate your magnificence

Above my vulva, not visible on this portrait, I have two scars from an emergency ovary surgery and I have got them since I was fifteen years old. Since then I was silent about them without a reason whatsoever, and a couple of years ago I started this journey of self connection. In many ways we are like a flower bud that is ripe, ready to open and grow at our own moments and timing. I invite you to take excellent care of and celebrate your magnificence.

I would like to end with this quote from Elizabeth Cunningham: "So I say, if you are burning, burn. If you can stand it, the shame will burn away and leave you shining, radiant, and righteously shameless."

D – 30 years old

Instead of shame, I should feel pride

I was introduced to the images of the ‘perfect vulva’ early on in my life, and after realising that mine didn’t at all fit the mark, I developed a hatred for my vulva. How would anyone ever come to want to see it? Would they be disgusted by it? By me?

I remember boys in college talking and laughing about wether girls were ‘neat’ or not, and even coming up for a slang for girls who had an ‘un-neat’ vulva: "a messy ham sandwich". I was disgusted with their words, and even more so with my vulva. I even considered surgery. But, last year I found this wonderful gallery, and was overcome with emotion. Not only did it show me that I was not alone in this journey, it showed me that instead of shame, I should feel pride for my vulva. It is taking time, and some days I still long for that ‘perfect’ vulva, but this gallery has helped in ways I cannot even find words for. Thank you, Hilde.  

F – 18 years old

Treat my vulva with love and care

I grew up in a conservative community with abstinence-only sex education, where posters warning the dangers of sex covered the halls of my middle school. No one was explicitly telling me what sex entailed, and I desperately wanted to learn anything I could about it. As a middle schooler, I searched the word “sex” in iTunes and stumbled upon a sex ed video podcast. It taught intro lessons on consent and pleasure and protection and masturbation and sexual orientation and gender and more. This random internet find removed some of the mystery surrounding sex, and made me feel less alone. Growing up, I had a pretty positive relationship with my vulva, and I felt relatively neutral about its appearance. When I started having sex with other people, though, my feelings about my vulva became more complicated. Some of my sexual partners had strong opinions about pubic hair, and I felt pressure to cater to their preferences. One of my first partners flippantly declared that I had a “meaty vagina and an elusive clit.” I often felt ashamed of my body and worried that my vulva wasn’t “normal,” but I tried my best to treat my body and vulva with love and care, and to have other partners treat my body and vulva with tenderness and respect as well. The Vulva Gallery provided yet another valuable internet resource that helped me change my relationship with my vulva, begin to unlearn the fallacy that there is such thing as a “normal” body, and just as that podcast did in middle school – feel less alone.

L – 24 years old

I’ve never been more confident about the way my vulva looks

I’ve always had an issue with my vulva not looking ‘normal.’ I saw vulvas in porn and I did not look like that. It took me a long time to realise that it’s more common not to look like that. Someone once told me that every vulva is a snowflake, so I got a tattoo of a snowflake on my collar bone to remind me every time I get naked that I’m a snowflake. I’ve never been more confident about the way my vulva looks. 

A – 24 years old

Memorialising her and her perfection forever

Throughout my adventures I had a few guys tell me my vulva was big and to be honest I even had a couple guys tell me they really liked her, but I just never felt great about my vulva because she didn’t look like the ones you see on bikini models or in porn. Until one day, after a long 9 months of no action, I hooked up with a friend who was absolutely in love with my vulva. He told me he once saw one that looked like her at a strip club and was totally mesmerised. He said my vulva “kisses back” and that just turned everything around for me. I realised how fabulous she is, how well she’s treated me my whole life and I got her portrait painted immediately to memorialise her and her perfection forever.

S – 31 years old

Thanks to The Vulva Gallery I can appreciate my uniqueness

I discovered how my vulva looked like when I was 12. I was shocked: what I was looking at in the mirror didn’t look like any of the vulvas I had seen before, in encyclopaedias or in porn imagery. A piece of flesh was hanging, and as it looked like dead flesh to me, I decided to simply remove it. Of course, I haven’t been able to do it, but from that day, I considered myself as 'deformed', without talking about it to anyone. I was hoping that the gynaecologist would see this 'deformity' and help me to 'fix' it. But she didn’t say anything, and I didn’t dare to ask her about it. Luckily, none of my partners ever said anything about it. Some have criticised my dark and thick hairs, but no one seemed to see that I was 'deformed'. However, I was really considering surgery, just to look 'normal'. Finally, I asked my current partner if he could see how weird I was, because of my asymmetrical inner labia. He laughed kindly, and told me that I was totally normal, and that he had never seen two different vulvas looking the same, which he found great. I am 31 now, and thanks to The Vulva Gallery, I can appreciate my uniqueness. I wish the 12 year old me could have seen that beautiful diversity. I am sharing this account with all the girls I know; to show them that variety is what makes each one of us beautiful.

M – 31 years old

You will be pleasantly surprised

Lately, a beloved friend reminded me that bodies come in all sizes and shapes, and they are modulated by life events. We have to learn to accept every single part of it, even if it’s not always easy. I’m still working on it, but today, I’m proud to say I love my vulva. Society has never encouraged us to observe ourselves carefully, with tenderness and respect. Until recently, I never had the curiosity to open my legs and discover my vulva. I have always felt some shame and embarrassment, even though I was alone with myself, alone with my body. I feel this shouldn't be normal. The Vulva Gallery book is a wonderful tool to break this taboo. Knowing oneself is the best way to gain confidence and share the pride of one's differences. Don't be shy, watch yourself. You will be pleasantly surprised.

I – 25 years old

My marks tell my story

Last year I finally found some medication that really helps my anxiety. One of the side effects I got was some weight gain and some fun stretch marks from that. I’m not a stranger to those side effects, I have PCOS and most of the medicine I take for that has given me the same, but this time it was a bit different. Not just the classic stretch marks on the hips or thighs, but right at the top of my vulva. It took a while to get use to them, and I know they will fade, but it was strange to in a way say goodbye and then hello and welcome to this new vulva that has more stories to tell. Those marks tell the story of how I finally truly began to get stable after 10 years of trying.

L – 20 years old

EN: I write with a bit of modesty, but at the same time full of courage. I am a 31 year old woman, who is learning to love her body and especially her vulva.
I am discovering myself as a bisexual, assuming that I can love a woman or a man, feeling free and being able to enjoy my vulva in company without prejudice.

Your project has helped me to love my vulva as it is, to enjoy it without shame and without taboo. Thank you for helping us to love us as we are.

ES: Escribo con un poco de pudor, pero a su vez llena de valentía. Soy una mujer de 31 años, que está aprendiendo a amar su cuerpo y sobre todo su vulva. 

Me estoy descubriendo como bisexual, asumiendo que puedo amar a una mujer o a un hombre, sentiendome libre y pudiendo disfrutar de mi vulva en compañía sin prejuicios. 

Tu proyecto me ha ayudado a amar mi vulva tal como es, a disfrutarla sin vergüenza y sin tabú. Gracias por ayudarnos a amarnos tal como somos.

S – 31 years old

Honoured to be involved

I’ve always felt as though I had a larger vulva – I loved it all the same, but always felt a bit confused when sexual partners have called it ‘small’. Taking a photo of my vulva for the gallery was the first time I had done so, and looking at it front on made me realise it wasn't as large as I'd thought. It seems that despite my self love, despite my recognition and acceptance of the differences in vulva, the constant images of ‘the perfect vulva’ are embedded in me so deeply that it has informed my own perception of my body. I already feel so strongly that women and girls have access to resources that celebrate the spectrum of bodies and this has only made my passion burn deeper. So much of women's sexual identity is centred on the vulva, but without the correct knowledge around our bodies, how can we be empowered to love ourselves and go on to empower others? The ideal of female bodies that we receive are informed by the male gaze, but projects like The Vulva Gallery are already making an impact on the way women perceive their bodies! It's so important and I feel so honoured to be involved.

J – 24 years old

I am blessed with more self confidence

My personal vulva story is a story of learning to love her through the decades of my life. 'Too voluminous', 'too long inner labia', 'not tasty enough' have been only some of the comments I received (and believed). Now, at the age of 41, I am blessed with more self confidence and don't give a f... about it anymore.

F – 41 years old

In a competitive world, where we are compared at all times, it is essential to demonstrate that our differences are our strength, that a person with their particular type of vulva will go through the period of acceptance, understanding of pleasure and self knowledge.

I have learned to love every natural signals she sends me, the smell, the levels of sensitivity I can control, the influence of the mind on those personal moments, and so on. If you first understand and love yourself, you will have enough solace for something that miraculously exists for several functions, to give birth and to give you pleasure, to assert your existence, and to evolve every sexual experience and personal self-care.

A – 18 years old

I have fallen in love with it all over again

I have always loved my vulva. I never worried about comparing it to others. However, I kept it completely shaved from the age of 13, and tattooed it as an act of rebellion in my teens. As an adult I decided recently to stop shaving, and I have fallen in love with it all over again. There’s confidence in reclaiming the way my body intended it to be.

H – 32 years old

All vulvas are beautiful and badass

I always had a horrible relationship with my body growing up, but the only area I didn’t feel self conscious about was my intimate area. Having very small inner labia I never felt self conscious or the need to compare myself when seeing other women naked or when being naked myself. As a lesbian I have seen many of my ex partners with larger inner labia and variances of shape/size who have all been so self conscious of the way that they looked, and it was heartbreaking to me to see no matter how beautiful or perfect a woman was in my eyes, they had a hard time accepting themselves as they believed they should look a certain way. I think all vulvas are beautiful and badass!

S – 25 years old

This is my body, this is me

For years, I have been disturbed by art, in relation to my body. This is me naked. “When did you start noticing the changes to your labia?”, others would ask. Actually, I didn’t notice the change. “We’re you born with them?” No I was not.

Many questions may be running through your mind right now, my answer to those questions is: sometimes art is best without an explanation. This is my body, this is me. I struggle everyday to love my vulva. Telling myself that she is normal. And I know: everything about your natural body is normal. My advice to others struggling to find the love in them: if there is anything that you want to change about yourself; if it’s not for health reasons, if it’s because of someone’s point of view, do not do it. There is so much to love about myself, my vulva is only the beginning. There’s so much to love about yourself. This is just the beginning. This is me exposed. 

D – age not shared

I’m intersex and I love my body

Growing up I always viewed myself as a regular female. I felt very feminine and was happy with the way my body looked. However around the age of 16 I still had not gotten my period yet. After my first visit with my gynaecologist and some blood tests I discovered that I was intersex. This drastically changed the way I viewed my body. I began to feel self conscious of things I hadn’t previously noticed. Like how I had a large amount of thick hair that looked like a typical mans happy trail. Or how I had more facial hair then the average woman. I slowly began to feel more and more ugly over time. As a young woman with a growing sexuality I began to sleep with lots of men in order to reassure myself of my own body. Those next few years did a number on my mental health. I felt like I want a real woman: and was devastated that I could never bare my own children or look as feminine as I wished to. However, after meeting the lover I have now I have grown to love and accept my body for how it is. Both me and my current partner grew up on and out of foster care. We both made a mutual discussion that my infertility was actually a blessing from God in the fact that we could now invest more into fostering or adopting a family that endured what we also had to as children. I have grown up a lot and grew to love my body including my body hair and feel extremely sexy and womanly despite my genetic makeup. 

E – 26 years old

Beautiful, natural and powerful

I've done multiple sessions of laser hair removal treatment mostly for health reasons because the abundance of body hair that runs in my family is a serious issue, and ingrown hairs were painful and often led to small lump infections due to shaving. So even though I loved my genital area as it was, I thought “this is too much hair and too much pain to handle”. At that moment, I realized that my insecurities were the usual ones: I was worried wondering if my partner would be willing to go down on me without questioning my lumps, my scars, my shaving routines, or my laziness to do so.

In my country, it's common that male suggestions over [their] women are emotional, moral, and/ or physical obligations and compromises. Ever since I was young, my blunt way of viewing sexuality and women's rights helped me overcome this problem on a personal level but The Vulva Gallery influenced me on a major level, reinforcing and reminding me how powerful it is to decide upon the looks of one's body even in a so called violent-third-world-country. I’m grateful that your message is setting a straight course to accurate sex-ed and taking body-shame to lower levels. So here’s my personal landscape, which feels a little lighter now with less hair but always beautiful, natural and powerful. 

B – 28 years old

I am not perfect, but I am beautiful

The first time I realized that my vulva maybe doesn't look like the average was when I was a kid. But I didn't think about it and it wasn't an issue at that age. I however started to be ashamed about the way I looked when I had my first sex partners. They never said something bad about my intimate zone, but I started to think about how I look compared to others. I don't now the exact reason, but I felt like “I am not worth it, because I have not a beautiful vulva“. I've had a lot of mental fights with myself the last year's, but then I found The Vulva Gallery. I knew that nobody looks the same but until that point I didn't realize this. And I started to think a little bit different about my body. I am still struggling and I think I am not perfect º but I am beautiful, no matter how my shape is, how my pubic hair looks, how the red marks from shaving looks or whatever. I am not perfect, but I am beautiful.

L – 19 years old

It just took self love

Ever since I was young, I have been aware and interested in my vulva. As I grew into my teenage years I was self conscious about the way that I looked but with some love and compassion from my best friend, I learned to love my vagina and my vulva for the way it was. I started doing piercings at a young age and at 16, I decided to get a Christina piercing. I now am in love with the way my vulva looks, and the piercing just accentuates it. I couldn't be happier with my vulva now. It just took self love.

A – 22 years old

Perfectly unique

It took a long time for me to realise that the shape of my vulva is perfectly unique. And so is yours. And if that isn’t a reason to celebrate and be confident about it, I don’t know what it is.

V – 27 years old

Non-binary and enamoured with my vulva

I’ve recently become enamoured with the fact that I have a vulva, which, as a non-binary individual, has taken me a long time to come to terms with. I’d love to have my vulva portrait painted, just as another way to express that I love who I am, I love myself, and I love my vulva :D

L – 18 years old

I got a piercing to embrace myself

Years ago I didn't like myself, my body and my vulva. I thought I was heterosexual, but I was not. In my teenage years I fell in love with women and men. But I didn't want to be gay. I was confused and built a wall around my heart to just love men. 

Then I met my husband and he was my soulmate from the first time we met. It was the first time I could talk to somebody about my bisexuality and the process of coming out began. I started to like my body and especially my vulva.

Last year I got pierced in this area to embrace myself and my lady parts. 

S – 23 years old

Fall in love with it

I originally asked Hilde to draw my vulva to see if it would help me fall in love with it. I have struggled with how it looks my whole adult life and although I have never had any negative feedback from partners, society’s comments really have altered how I feel about my vulva. The idea that longer or larger vulvas are less beautiful is so damaging and this project really is so important.

S – 33 years old

we are our own, and we are divine

Like so many other people, I struggled with my vulva. I always had longer inner labia and can remember tucking them up inside to hide them when I was a young girl. I had a hard time struggling with my feminine body. My smaller breasts, and my inner labia always made me feel like I was genderless and not a "real" woman.
I started shaving all my body hair at 12, and had constant, painful ingrown hairs. My body got harder and harder to accept and face in the mirror. Every relationship I've been in, the person has refused to pleasure me unless I shave. Over the years, I realized that my body is a temple. She is mine to worship, to decorate, and to respect as a precious jewel. When I accept my inner-goddess, she makes herself more and more visible. Every hair, fold, freckle and hue is beautiful. No matter what, we are our own, and we are divine.

L – 27 years old
Gender pronouns: She (genderfluid)

Chubby and fluffy and cute

A few years ago, I discovered the #bodypositive philosophy and that saved my life, no exaggerations. Learning how to love and respect myself helped me through a huge depression I had been bearing since I was a child.

I love myself! And of course, I love my vulva! Since I gained weight these last years (medication issues), my vulva looks now so chubby and fluffy and I find her so cute! My boyfriend loves her too and always makes me feel so beautiful and loved.

I also have several pimple scars in my crotch. That's because I started shaving and waxing at a super young age, and not always in the best way for my skin.

But today, I am 23 years old and I LOVE every part of me and my vulva! Including my small and chubby labia and my pimple scars.

Thank you, dear Hilde, for the gorgeous task you are doing. You are amazing! ♡

M – 23 years old

I’m trans, I have a vulva, and I’m reclaiming my body for myself

TW: mention of sexual abuse

Hello! I am a transgender man, and here's a bit of my story.

I had no concept of gender as a child, or any idea that it was possible to change. I was just a kid until suddenly puberty happened and I felt obligated to try as hard as I could the Perfect Girl™ that everybody expected of me. No matter how good I looked, I was humiliated and devastated that I felt so wrong, that I had failed. 

I was victim to sexual abuse first as a small child, then as a teen and young adult. I never felt as though my body was my own. I didn't have memories of the childhood abuse, but over time it became a subconscious belief that my body was just a commodity to be consumed. During sex, body dysphoria doubled to the point of dissociation. Sex never felt like a choice, and the more it happened, the more dissociated I became.

It took a long time, but three years ago, I finally accepted myself as an individual who deserves love and respect. I started Hormone Replacement Therapy and my medical and social transition. Now, I'm reclaiming my body for myself and learning to love myself, vulva and all.

E – 27 years old

Our strength lies in our differences

I'd like to thank Hilde for their heartwarming, genuine art and that they continue to spread acceptance and to show the beauty of diversity. To me, the gallery and community embody the saying "our strength lies in our differences". I'd also like to say that I love the human body, but I love the human soul at least as much. So when I look at someone, I always try to get a glimpse of their soul as well and I try to open myself up a little, so that they can have a glimpse of mine too. It helps me to find more human connection in my everyday life :)

S – 23 years old

I need to be thankful for my body

I've never really liked or even felt comfortable with my vulva. Since I was a little kid and started learning about vulvas and penises, I always noticed that the vulvas portrayed in my Sex Ed books never looked like mine. I felt like a freak. Throughout my life, I'd never really seen vulvas like mine in porn, art, etc., and to top it off, I had men telling me my lips were large and weird, which obviously didn't help. I considered having the labiaplasty done to myself more than I'd like to admit it and also, I've never really felt too comfortable with the color of my vulva – it's darker than the rest of my body, and I thought about bleaching it too, but didn't do it, because I know I need to be thankful for my body, and accept it and love it as it is. I'm sending this picture of my vulva and feeling scared and vulnerable, but knowing that girls, teenagers and women need to start exposing themselves to every type of vulva there is, so that they know their vulvas are valid and acceptable.

P – 27 years old

I promised myself to accept my vulva as it is

A certain situation has shaped my relationship with my vulva immensely. When I was nine years old, I was with a girlfriend in the girls' toilets in elementary school. I wanted to impress her because she was one of the cool ones. So I showed her my vulva in the course of a test of courage. One day later I played together with her and another friend in the school yard. She and another girlfriend whispered to each other. Both came to me and said that they didn't want to play with someone who looked so strange 'down there' and ran away screaming, because "they might get infected". Since that day I felt like an alien. For years I googled 'labia reduction' daily and dreamed of looking 'normal'. Especially when I started to become sexual, I avoided all situations where someone could see me naked out of fear that my opposite could laugh at me. Just two years ago I came across this account and was incredibly relieved that I am not the only one with such a 'strange' vulva. With the time, much sex education and love for myself, I've understood that my vulva is neither 'strange' nor 'abnormal'. Although I still have the voices of the two girls in my head when I'm naked in front of someone, I promised myself to accept my vulva as it is.

C – 19 years old

A cheeky smile :)

I am a happy vulva. The only thing I’ve always felt insecure about is my shaving bumps. I have very sensitive skin and after shaving, it looks like I have measles. A few years ago, my ex-boyfriend, his friends and I went camping together on a beach in Italy. Just the thought that they could see my shaving bumps or hair made me feel uncomfortable, so I decided to try Brazilian sugaring, which a friend had recommended to me. The result was the opposite of what I had imagined: my skin got inflamed and was more irritated than ever, and I ended up hiding during the entire trip. To stop shaving was never an option for me though. Personally, I feel sexy with just a little hair, regardless of my shaving bumps. One time, however, I was dating this guy, who wanted me to go completely bald. He even sent texts to remind me to shave. Another time, when I was confronted with my appearance was when a guy compared me to another vagina while kissing me: "You are so beautiful. I didn't really like the look of the last vagina I met.” Wait, what. Aren’t all vaginas beautiful? When I discovered The Vulva Gallery, I knew I had to be part of this revolutionary project. Scrolling through this Instagram feed, I am fascinated with how brave, perfect and cute you all are!

Thank you Hilde for painting my portrait & clits up to all the vaginas who shared their inspiring story.

PS Even though I like to look in the mirror and take selfies, I've never noticed the irregular shape of my lip line. Until I saw this portrait. I think it looks like a cheeky smile. And I think it's cute.

M – 27 years old

I brought a child into this world!

As a teenager I had a lot of issues with my body, but I never really thought about my vulva. As an adult I felt a lot better about my body, and I was happy with my vulva. After I gave birth, I realised I had taken for granted what my vulva had looked like before. I had no idea it would change so much (who knew stretch marks on the pubic mound was actually a thing!?). When I found the vulva gallery, I was glad to see so much diversity! I am trying to re-learn how to love my vulva and it's new type of normal. It's different to before, because I brought a child into this world!

L – 23 years old

I grew to love my body

I’ve always been a very sexual person and used to take a peak at porn or magazines that were stashed at my house or my friends’ houses, when I was little. Although I liked this experience, this caused me to be very self-conscious of my inner labia, because they were much longer than those of the women featured in the magazines or videos and friends used to say that it was because these women had too much sex and were stretched out.  When I was 21, I was diagnosed with HSV-2 after my very first sexual partner was dishonest with me and passed the virus to me. This experience made me further hate my body, my sexuality, and especially my vagina/vulva. I felt as though I looked weird and was diseased. However, over time with therapy and some amazing accepting partners, I grew to love my body, my sexuality, and my vagina/vulva. I embraced who I was, what I looked like, and the sex positive person that I was. Now I love my body and my vulva. I love the VCH piercing which adorns my clitoral hood and I love the public hair that I have; each just makes me feel so feminine and beautiful.

R – 32 years old

I decided to stop shaving

My vulva has always been very hairy. When I was around 11-12 and my friends and I were undressing and dressing in front of each other. They had clean shaven, “pretty” vulvas when mine was more hairy and less clean. I had to think to shave all the time to look like other girl’s vulva. I decided to stop shaving all the time and making my self pressured to keep shaving I wanted to stop, so I did. I am thankful for my decisions as this is so much more comfortable to live with. X

M – age not shared

Unique, and beautiful, and mine

I have always felt self conscious of my labia. It has only been in the last few years – from a combination of projects like The Vulva Gallery, supportive partners, and largely my own journey towards self acceptance and self love – that I have begun to not only accept but appreciate and love my vulva. 

I remember first feeling self conscious about how prominent my lips were when I first encountered images of other women's vulvas, especially in porn. They just didn't look like mine, which had more prominent labia that stuck out, with one slightly larger than the other. They weren't the "neat" vulvas that I grew to associate with what was pretty, accepted, and sexy. 

I was lucky to have a string of partners along the way who not only accepted my vulva, but loved it, and told me exactly why. They helped me see my vulva for what it was – unique, and beautiful, and mine. There were stumbling blocks, though. 

One time, a new partner reached into my panties and casually remarked, "Wow, you've got a lot going on down here." It's funny how one tiny comment can so quickly destroy years of confidence that has been painstakingly but lovingly built up. That comment still returns to me every once in a while, but most of the time I appreciate my vulva, and I can recognise its beauty.

Thank you for what you are doing, and I hope your project can help other women with vulvas learn to accept and love them, too. 

S – 27 years old

I am on a self acceptance journey

– Content warning: mention of sexual assault. –

My whole life, my vulva has been a huge struggle for me. I started realizing I didn’t look like my sisters, my mom, and women in porn when I was probably 13. This realization became an extremely intense form of body dysmorphic disorder after I was sexually assaulted at 14. I would stare at my vulva for an eternity before getting in the shower. I would search pictures of vulvas, and none ever seemed to look quite as “big” and “bulgy” as mine. It sticks out in my underwear and bathing suits, and that always caused me so much distress. I wouldn’t let my own family see me naked, let alone any potential partners. I am now 19 years old, and still a virgin due to my BDD. The Vulva Gallery has helped my self image more than anything else ever has, and although I am still on a self acceptance journey, I can’t thank The Vulva Gallery enough for where I am today in my progress. 

E – 19 years old

I got cured from vaginismus

I got physically cured from vaginismus in 2015. But only a year and a half ago, I feel mentally healed as well. When the physiotherapist cured me, I could have sex with my body, in theory. In real life, I had to go through a longer and harder healing process on the mental level. I had to learn that it was okay to be desired by someone who cared about me and that it was okay to share my most intimate body parts with that person. I had to discover that I actually did have a libido, something I never thought existent before. The idea of me sexually desiring someone else was something brand new. At the same time, I used to suffer from recurring yeast infections too, which made the mental healing process very slow. I did everything for my vagina to avoid the infections and yet it didn't help. Only after a cure of three months, my yeast infections became rare.

The main problem about all this, is that I didn't talk about it for years. I grew up in the "accept your problem, don't annoy anyone with it and learn to live with it"-mentality. If I had had the courage to talk about it in the beginning, the healing process wouldn't have been so long and so hard.

So, don't accept your problem, talk to someone about it and don't learn to live with it. It doesn't work.

Long live all vulvas!

H – 24 years old

The first step in loving myself

I’ve struggled my whole life with feelings of shame and embarrassment when it comes to my labia. From a young age (specifically after catching my first glimpse of porn when I was twelve) I’ve felt like there was something wrong with me, that my vulva was ugly and different from other women’s. These feelings of shame followed me well into my adult life regardless of how many loving or intimate partners I had. Taking this photo and sharing it has made me feel very uncomfortable but also very free. This is the first step in loving myself and letting go of the shame that I’m so sick of feeling.

C – 32 years old

My self-vulva-love

My relationship with my vulva has always been complicated. I was fine with my body, but when puberty started, my labia grew, my hairs appeared and I started to hate it. My hairs are dark and thick, they itches all the time and holds secretions. I shaved during my whole teenage years, but the razor blade hurt me and it was uncomfortable. 

Almost all of my partners liked my vulva and I learned to love it with them. 

My self-vulva-love progressed with waxing, I discovered the softness of the skin under my thick hairs and I fell very happy with that. Nowadays, and since I discovered the other multiple types of vulvas in your gallery, I like my labia, I like to feel its softness when my hairs are short or waxed. My girlfriend also helped me, I admire her self-confidence with her own body!

My conclusion is that self-love does come with what you need, not with people telling you what is good for you.

C – 24 years old

Accepting my love bumps

Throughout my life I've always had a love hate relationship with my body, more so with the junction of my belly and mons pubis than anything else. No matter my weight, it's been a puffy little shelf for my tummy that I always try to hide. As I've gotten older we've grown a bit more comfortable with each other but I'm working towards the day I wholeheartedly accept my love bumps.

K – 31 years old

– Content warning: mention of sexual assault. –

I looked at my vulva for the first time at age 25. My treacherous relationship with my body began with a number of unconsensual and underage experiences that led me to feeling ashamed and disgusted with myself.  I never learned to say "no" or that it was ok to listen to my body and not want "it" (whatever "it" may be).  I blamed my vulva and vagina for what kept happening and began to think of myself as a broken sexual being that could not be fixed.

Recently, I started the arduous journey of learning to accept my vulva and my sexuality as a part of my self.  I am creating new consensual memories, based in love and trust, with my husband.  I am finding empowerment though research and hearing other women’s (people with vulvas’) stories, and most importantly…I am letting go of guilt and blame.

This portrait is a gift to myself.  I am strong, I am beautiful, I am not broken.

M – 25 years old

Not at peace with my body

Hi! This vulva belongs to a Muslim girl. I'm 30 and I'm a virgin. I live in a middle east country and do not speak English (I am using translation to write this). I'm not at peace with my body. The most important feature I don't like about my vulva is the fact that I have white skin but the skin around my vulva is darker; which makes me shy about having relationships.

F – 30 years old

I try to love myself for all the things that I am

Although I struggle with loving myself I often look at my body and say "damn, I look good." Its a little silly, but I've found that that little affirmation  helps me a lot. Instead of comparing myself to other people that I might date I try to love myself for all the things I am and that I'm becoming.

M – 23 years old

When l was in the 9th grade friends lead me to believe that everyone shaved and in my head l was like “but l don’t“. After the comments they made about people that didn’t shave l decided l would start because l didn’t wanna look gross. After a year passed l noticed the skin got darker and l wasn’t pleased with the appearance anymore. It  got so bad it stopped me from being sexual in any shape or form. I’m now 21 and even though I’m still a virgin l finally came to love my vulva.

L – 21 years old

Slowly starting to accept my own

At age fifteen my vulva changed. For me it was a dramatic change, which ruined many years of my life. I don’t know how many tears I have cried, but I guess I could fill up a swimming pool. I have struggled with an eating disorder for fifteen years, and mentally from age fifteen until today (at thirty six years old) because of my issues. When I started being sexually active, I cried every time I had sex with a new partner, and my issues have ruined a lot of my relationships because of my hangups regarding my vulva. None of the guys/girls I’ve had sex with have ever said anything but positive things, but in my head there is something wrong with my vulva. And I have always believed that everyone else thinks the same way I do. I have never ever seen a woman in real life with long inner labia, so I thought it was just me. My current boyfriend has really pushed my limits regarding my vulva, and I hated him for that for a long time. He says that he really loves it, and I want to believe him! I have always found long inner labia very sexy, but I hated my own. There are so many beautiful vulvas in The Vulva Gallery, so I’m slowly starting to accept my own. But I have a long way to go. The Vulva Gallery: thank you!

M – 36 years old

I love my vulva 3000

It is so lucky that Im a part of your collection, Hilde. Not until my ‘first time’ did I care about my vulva. I found it so happy when I carefully cut my vulva hair. I spent quite a long time on struggling with my cervicitis which made me feel like being under a lot of pressure. Eventually, I made it through. I’m gonna take care of it and protect it for good. ‘Cause you know, I love my vulva 3000 ♡♡♡

M – 22 years old

Be proud of yourself

I see girls and even woman struggling with their bodies on a regular, if not daily, basis. Still, women (as well as people who identify as trans, intersex or non-binary) are not taught to be proud of their own bodies. We allow the media and the world around us, that is still dominated by gender stereotypes, to put pressure and shame on us for not looking like someone else imagines us to be. We need to fight back against these forces. This is why I wanted to be part of The Vulva Gallery. The best way to become more self-confident starts with realising how different human beings are and that this actually pretty exciting. There is not the one way you must to look like. All of us are beautiful in their own way. I'd describe myself as confident even though I have days when I am struggling with my body myself. Most important for me personally are my amazing friends and my partner who always supports me and never gave me the feeling that I need to be any other way that I am. This is what I want to pass on: Be proud of yourself, look for people that love you for who you are and don't allow anyone else to tell you who you should be.

A – 26 years old

Loving our vulva

My vulva is a part of my body that I love the most, looking at it, touching it, feeling its smell at every stage of my cycle makes me feel very happy and good about myself.  Loving our vulva is the first step in loving ourselves and our diversities.

M – 24 years old

I take pride in having it as a part of my body

I originally didn't submit a story because I thought I didn't have one. But I do. When I was younger, nothing was really said about my vulva. Nothing negative. Nothing positive. However, the one thing that was related was my issue with wetting the bed. This was a problem that stopped around the time I was 13 years old. It made me incredibly self-conscious about my smell even after this had stopped. I had also started growing hair, and I felt like that was wrong for a really long time too. Then I got a serious boyfriend and we wanted to have sex. So what I did was start doing a bunch of research on what I was supposed to do and instead of learning what I know from porn like a lot of young people end up doing, I luckily ended up stumbling across a bunch of sexual education resources. I learned that the way my vulva smelled was normal and smells would vary from person to person, that it was okay to do whatever I wanted with my pubic hair. After I had found out all I needed to know for myself, I started watching more and more videos and reading more and more articles from these resources. Sexual health is a main interest for me. Because of the inquiries I made about me and my vulva, I gained an interest that would stay with me for the years following and shape my future. I love my vulva now, and I take pride in having it as a part of my body.

K – 18 years old

Accepting myself as I am

I think I have suffered due to my larger inner labia from a very young age, for example when cycling. I always thought that was how it was and that every girl experienced this. As I got older, I started to become more and more aware of what I looked like and how my body changed. I’m still not always comfortable on my bike, and often underwear or too tight trousers don’t feel comfortable. But nowadays the uncertainty about what it looks like is more in my way. And especially my clitoral hood, which I find quite large. I have never had any (negative) reactions about my vulva, but it saddens me I can never let myself go during sex. In addition, I am also insecure about the smell of my vagina. I know there’s not more I can do than wash myself well, but still I’m afraid it doesn’t smell good. For several years, I have looked up information about labiaplasty and I’ve almost requested a consultation. On the one hand I really want to undergo surgery, because I think it would help me to enjoy sex more and to be more assured of myself, but on the other hand I’m afraid my vulva won’t feel like or look like ‘my vulva’ anymore after surgery. Ideally, I would of course just accept myself as I am. In any case, I am very happy that this gallery exists – it is nice to read the stories of others and, by reading the experiences of others learning to love my own vulva bit by bit. I’d also like to add that I feel the work you’re doing with The Vulva Gallery is really important. I think we should all learn a lot more about our anatomy. For example, when we receive sexual health education there aren’t any realistic images of vulvas available – which I think is really unfortunate. I’ve been searching for imagery for years, trying to figure out if I am ‘normal’ – and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I really think this should change, and I believe that The Vulva Gallery makes an important difference.

S – 22 years old

I have never felt so free and empowered

I grew up in an "abstinence only" type of household. When I reached puberty, I remember being fascinated by my changing body, but it felt shameful to explore it. Using a tampon was extremely painful for me, which I assumed was the case for everyone. It wasn't until I was in college that I realized maybe something wasn't quite right. I made an appointment with a gynaecologist, who told me that my hymen was very thick and almost entirely obstructing my vagina. She scheduled me for an outpatient procedure to remove my hymen. She also recommended that I see a pelvic floor physical therapist after I healed from surgery to work on relaxation and break up scar tissue. My surgery and physical therapy sessions were a success. I exchanged my maxi pads and dark sweatpants for tampons and confidence. I have never felt so free and empowered. When I became sexually active a few years later, my boyfriend helped me learn to love my body and appreciate it for all the amazing things it can do. It wasn't until recently that I paid much attention to my vulva. I used to shave pretty regularly because I prefer it to feel soft and smooth. I recently started undergoing Brazilian laser hair removal, and so far I am quite happy with the results! I hope that sharing my story may open up dialogue for others and empower them to make the decisions that are best for them.

K – 25 years old

There’s no wrong way to have a body

I’ve always had a very complicated relationship with my body, and especially with my vulva. Personally I was given great, sex positive education, but culturally I’ve felt shame around being comfortable with my vulva since I was very young. As I’ve grown older, I’ve overcome that shame in many ways, though it is hard to not spend time comparing myself to the images media portrays as “normal”. That said, I do love my vulva, and the layer of softness that surrounds it. I love my pubic hair. They are as much a part of me as any other body part. And no matter how much my culture labels me weird or slutty for doing it, I will appreciate, love, use, and celebrate them as much as I can. 

I hope that everyone with (and without!) a vulva can someday feel comfortable and at home in their own body. Even if you may feel that it’s “different” or “wrong”. Because diversity is beautiful, and there’s no wrong way to have a body.

E – 20 years old

You are the source of your own happiness

I’ve always had issues with my body, I’ve never been really positive about it; but my vulva it’s one of the few parts that I truly love about myself. It gives me confidence and helps my self-esteem. My tattoo is something chose to get after a tough break up. I was in love for the first time, I would have given everything to him but my love wasn’t reciprocated and he betrayed my trust. I put my happiness in his hands - this is a thing I had never done before, because first of all; I believe that you are the source of your own happiness. The tattoo was an impulsive thing but I really love it, it reminds me what happened, and it reminds me to stop giving my love to people who don’t deserve it.

B – age not shared

I realised that it was all only in my head

Me and my vulva lived together for over thirty years, but I had to become a mom to really get to know her. Since I gave birth, I started not only to reconnect with myself and overcome personal traumata but also to feel like a complete woman. In my twenties, I never touched that 'something down there'. I’ve never even looked at myself. It was something that existed but had no place in my life. Since two years or so, my life has completely changed. I look at myself, I touch myself, I enjoy myself. My sex life has totally changed because I accept myself and I am able to let go of my sorrows and fears. In the past, I tried to change the look of my vulva. I hated my pubic hair and tried waxing, shaving, sugaring... But nothing worked for me. That wasn’t me. Now I even love my pubic hair. I realised that it was all only in my head. I was very insecure and thought that a hairy vulva is ugly. That pubic hair is filthy and has to be eliminated. I wanted to please my partner. Now I know that there is only one person I have to please, and that is me.

L – 30 years old

A beautiful flower

As a young girl, my vulva looked completely different than it does now. As I got older and once I reached puberty, my inner labia started to make their appearance. To be honest I was a bit freaked out. I didn’t know if it was normal. I did research and found that there were other women that looked similar to me. As the years went by I became more and more insecure about my vulva. I would read nasty remarks on the internet about vulvas with long labia. Then I found The Vulva Gallery. This account has helped me overcome a lot of my insecurities and gain my confidence back. Now I view my vulva as a beautiful flower. She is powerful and wonderful. I have given birth vaginally to two beautiful children and I could not have done that without her. Being a woman is magical, no matter how long your labia are. Embrace her. 

N – 25 years old

I’m happy to be healthy

I love this project and I wanted to share. I saw a question on The Vulva Gallery Instagram the other day about a woman who experienced discomfort due to her longer labia and she was asking for tips to tuck it in. Surgery really helped me with the pain I was experiencing due to my very long inner labia. My one side was about 7 cm long while my other is about 2 cm. I always tucked in the long side but it would inevitably come out and get twisted in itself. It got to the point where I couldn’t concentrate at work and would experience severe pain and discomfort during exercise and sex and an increase in bacterial infections (due to contact with my anus). When the doctor told me the one side wouldn’t match the other after surgery and that he could cut the other side to match, I remembered The Vulva Gallery and I said no. The other side never caused me problems and I like its natural curves. I don’t care that my inner labia don’t match today. It gives my vulva personality! I am just happy to be healthy.

T – 30 years old

I no longer allow people to shame me

Feeling other and like a freak, I grew up being ashamed of and confused by my extended labia and pubic hair. Anyone who saw my vulva said they had never seen one like it which made me feel like there was something wrong with me. From a young age, my mother told me I could get labiaplasty when I grew up, which conveyed to me that my natural state was wrong.

The lack of education and discussion about these topics has made learning about how to take care of myself difficult, and turned a very natural topic of discussion into taboo.

I recently met someone who loves my labia and taught me that some people actually prefer longer labia to shorter ones. This gallery, sexually education podcasts, and other forms of online educational media have helped me learn that there are many shapes and sizes of vulvas. They have given me the knowledge to talk about these subjects with friends confidently and I no longer allow people to shame me. Let's keep it up! Thank you, Hilde, for creating a platform of discussion, and thank you to everyone who is participating for eradicating stigmas.    

C – 22 years old