Personal Stories

There’s a lot of power in recognising yourself in someone else’s story, and thinking: ‘Hey, that’s me, that’s how I feel too!’. Many of us aren’t used to speaking about our vulvas, but it can be very helpful to know that other people have the same kinds of experiences or insecurities.

Since 2017, The Vulva Gallery community has been sharing their personal stories with me. Here you’ll find a selection of personal stories and vulva portraits from all around the world.

Coming to know my true gender identity

I am coming out as non-binary and for the first time ever in my life I feel connected to my vagina and vulva. Before coming out, even as I made love to my life partner, I could still feel myself being squeamish and pulling away no matter how pleasurable intimacy was. That pressure was immediately alleviated after coming out; I was able to relax during sex and have heightened pleasure and orgasms, simply by being honest with myself and partner. After digging further within myself, I realised that there's several reasons why I have a disconnect with my genitals, including the fact that I began having sex to process trauma and used sex as a coping mechanism for over a decade of my life. This realisation combined with coming to know my true gender identity has help me physically and emotionally. 

C – 29 years old

You are not alone, you are loved

TW: mention of sexual assault

It feels strange and exciting sharing my vulva. Her name is Valley and we’re only now getting to know each other. I grew up intensely detached from that part of me. At a very young age I was the victim of sexual assault, later rape. I was raised in a strict fundamentalists household, sex education was “abstinence only”, any sexual thought or act was a sin. Exploring myself was not allowed, so that was done in hiding and in fear. I was not given the tools or knowledge to protect myself which allowed for bad things to happen. It is a long ongoing journey to reverse the damage and learn to live with that trauma. No one should ever have to go through that. I was lost for a long time, then I had a baby girl. She is my motivation to break the harmful cycle I was raised in. I want to give her the tools and knowledge she needs to have a healthy shame free relationship with herself; and to do that for her, I first have to do it for myself. Reconnecting with myself has been an incredible experience, truly life changing. If you’re going through or have had similar experiences (there are far to many of us) just know that you are not alone, you are loved, and you can also break the cycle.

The Vulva Gallery has been a wonderful blessing in my journey, I am eternally grateful. Everyone is so beautiful!

M – 36 years old

All vulvas are unique

I first started thinking about the looks of my vulva when an ex-boyfriend said that mine looked like a ‘hybrid’. He meant that some parts of my inner labia were visible while others were not. I’m sure that he didn’t want to make me feel uncomfortable, but to me ‘hybrid’ sounded anything but ‘normal‘. And even though I didn’t mind the looks of my vulva per se, I somehow started to believe that it was ‘not as it should be’.

Only when I found The Vulva Gallery, I realised that all vulvas are unique and that none looks like the other – and that this is truly wonderful!

Since then I started to be more appreciative – not only of my own vulva, but also also of others’ vulvas, penises and sex organs altogether. The looks of you primary sex organs should not be dubbed with words like ‘hybrid’, but simply considered to be uniquely beautiful just the way they are! All sex organs are beautiful! 

Thank you so much for helping me realise this and for promoting body positivity!

M – 26 years old

Different, unique and beautiful

Ever since I was eleven years old I used to think that my vulva was different of the rest, no one had explained to me that vulvas could be different from the biology books. I used to felt very ashamed of it and I didn’t want to be touch. I even looked for a labiaplasty! The first time I felt comfortable with my vulva was at eighteen years old, with my first boyfriend. He helped me to accept her and since this I am more confident. I have to admit that it has been difficult to take a picture of my vulva. This suggests that, unfortunately, sometimes I still think that my vulva is ugly and I don’t feel very comfortable with her, especially when having sex with new people. However, I'm working on that. I want to feel more comfortable with my vulva and I want to love her (sometimes I really feel it)! That's why I'm very happy to be part of this project. In fact, not only because it is part of my self-acceptance vulva process, but because I feel that we (The Vulva Gallery) can help the rest of individuals who are in the same situation. 

I hope that someday the whole pressure on the women’s body disappears and we could be happy with our different, unique and beautiful bodies.

M – 25 years old

I survived uterine cancer

When I was 21 I was diagnosed with uterine fibroids. I bled heavily for over a year. During that year I completed beauty school, worked two jobs, and raised my daughter in an adult diaper. I miscarried twins, and right after my 22nd birthday, I had a myomectomy (21 fibroids were removed from my uterus). Less than 6 months later, I went in for testing and was diagnosed with uterine cancer. I received a total abdominal hysterectomy at 22 years old. I have been struggling with feeling like a “shell” of a woman, so when I found The Vulva Gallery, it made me feel woman again, for I do still have my vulva. This was an emotional gift to myself, and I am honoured to be apart of The Vulva Gallery.

K – 23 years old

She really isn’t as bad as I thought

I stumbled upon The Vulva Gallery by accident exploring Instagram and I was immediately interested as my own perception of my vulva has always been negative.

I have researched surgery, I have considered surgery and still it niggles in the back of my mind.

I reached out to Hilde and asked how to become part of the gallery as reading others stories of how they've come to love their vulvas after featuring in the gallery that perhaps if I got a portrait of my vulva it may help me accept and live mine too.

I was excited to see Hilde's work as I really disliked and felt self conscious of how I looked. Since seeing my painting I can’t stop going back and looking at 'her' (yes, I have even given her a pronoun now!)  and she really isn’t as bad as I thought, especially now I can compare it to loads of other portraits Hilde has done and realise the variety of vulvas out there, all special and unique. 

S – 24 years old

Trust that you are made perfectly

I never really thought much of my vulva until I was a 14 year old teenager. I noticed my inner lips were a bit longer than my outer lips. I grew up doing gymnastics and was always in a tight leotard and felt a bit insecure when I felt like my inner lips protruded a bit more than other girls’ and really had a difficult time accepting my body for how it was and I looked at it as abnormal or deformed and was always super self conscious about wearing a leotard without shorts. As I got older, there were two particular men who made inappropriate comments about my vulva saying that my vagina was loose or using a derogatory name for it. It has taken me a long time to get over those negative comments, but over time my view of my body has improved and I really appreciate this kind, positive and supportive community on Instagram. I know changing perceptions of how things are can take time but it helps to hang on to positive thoughts about your body image and trust that you are made perfectly! Cheers to continuing to heal negative perceptions.

K – 31 years old

Having a hard time to feel pleasure

I think this page is absolutely beautiful. Yes, my vulva is extremely traditional to what is often shown in the adult film industry but am I lucky? No, because even if my vulva was a different shape I would still find love for it. One thing that bothers me is when I am with a partner I have a really hard time surrendering myself to them. Surrender meaning allowing myself to feel comfortable enough to feel pleasure with that person. I would love some advice on how to let go with someone you love.

E – 20 years old

I am a beautiful butterfly

I had never even thought about how my vulva looked until I was sixteen and someone saw it for the first time. They said that all women had different shapes and that mine was a butterfly and it was beautiful. After that, I was very proud of it. However, later I started to see images on the internet depicting women with longer labia as “gross” or “slutty”, and I started to feel ashamed.

When I feel that way, I try to remind myself that really I am a beautiful butterfly. I think everyone with a vulva should be proud of their shape, and it might help some others to think of something beautiful their vulva resembles.

J – 31 years old

My vulva has become a true friend

My vulva and I took a very long time to get to know each other. I grew up in an environment where sex was a taboo, as much as sexual pleasure, where books were the only way to find out answers to my questions concerning pleasure and use of vulva. As an adult, I chose to question myself and my sexuality, accept my education and overcome limited beliefs through therapy, coaching and knowledge about human sexuality. I chose to discuss openly about sex, with friends, clients, and my daughters. I even became an intimate and relational coach to help people consent to themselves. Today, I can say my vulva has become a true friend. I accept her, in all her ways and diversity. I cherish her and love her as she is. And she takes care of me, she is where my vital energy lays, lives and grows, and gives me pleasure, support, strength. I feel her living in me. This vital sexual energy is really powerful, and vulnerable at the same time. And this relationship guides me to more of letting live my deep Self. I hereby express my gratitude to her; to Hilde and their book (A Celebration of Vulva Diversity) which allows sexual education to grow; and to others who, amongst other ways, through tantric massages and orgasmic meditation offer vulvas to find inner serenity and completeness.

AG – 44 years old

When I was younger, I had no resources like this page to be aware of vulva diversity, so I felt very ashamed about how I looked down there. I even thought about labiaplasty to reduce my labia and better fit into aesthetic norms, but I'm too scared of the operation. So I finally decided to learn to accept my body as it is, and to see my differences as something beautiful, even if it isn't always easy.

Now I do all the things I can to feel at ease with my body. For example, I stopped wearing tight pants and I choose more comfortable ones for my vulva. I also try not to compare myself to other women, as we all are unique in one way or another.

I wish to everyone reading this to finally be at peace with their appearance.

AS – 27 years old

Trying to make fun of life

My vulva, I could not appreciate its beauty until I realised how interesting it is to see how the lip peeks out, almost trying to make fun of life. I also realised that it is a part of my body that, in the most subtle way, can be very sensual. Something simple for this is to play with the shape of the hair, that helps to see it more beautiful. And you may see small marks on the skin – but what does it matter? It is still beautiful, because all vulvas are beautiful in their own way.

K – 22 years old

Little by little society is changing and I’m loving me a bit more

I’m 22, and when I was 15 I saw my vulva for the first time, with the size and form it has now. I was in shock. How? When? It didn’t make any sense to me. One day it was "normal", and the “kid” kind of vulva and suddenly my inner labia were really big. And I hadn’t noticed the changes during the process. Incredible. I decided to take a look at it because we had a sexological workshop and the teacher told us to take a mirror and watch our vulva. I felt skeptical about the result.
Since then I realized we didn’t know anything about our genitals, our development and our processes. I was really scared of my own body because of that. And I felt my Vulva was kind of... abnormal? I started to search to get more info, and I discovered labiaplasty surgery. I cried and talked to my mum who also was impressed (for her was also different, of course). Then I found the Great Wall of Vagina and later The Vulva Gallery. I started to get more confident with my body. Happy to know the diversity. It was beautiful. Also my ex-partner helped me to feel beautiful and.. normal. Anyway, I’m still feeling kind of conflicted. It’s not easy to me to show my vulva because not all the people know the diversity of them and I don’t want to get hurt. Little by little society is changing and I’m loving me a bit more. Thank you.

M – 22 years old

Endometriosis and loving my vulva

I am 19 years old. I was diagnosed with Endometriosis June 29th 2018. I had a laparoscopy done to remove a tumor that had grown on my pelvic wall. I had my 2nd laparoscopy done to remove endo tissue last week. After I was diagnosed with this disease, I started to look on Instagram for Endometriosis support pages. Upon my searching I stumbled across the Vulva Art Gallery. At first it caught me off guard. What is this? As I read and saw the beautiful vulvas and stories from so many different women, I realized that I put myself and my body to shame too often. I am so glad to be sharing this awesome part of my body. My vulva, vagina and all of my other beautiful woman parts often hurt and bleed due to my endo. This disease and myself have put my body to shame for the last time. By sharing this, I feel I am taking a huge step into loving not just my vulva, but ALL of me that makes me who I am.

A – 19 years old

I thought I was the only one

I wasn’t born like this, and just few months ago I thought I was the only one with a vulva like this. At the age of eight I started masturbation, and I didn’t even know what it was at first, I just remembered that it felt good. I thought I was the only one doing it. I am learning to accept the way my vulva looks but I am afraid because I come from a very conservative country where sex is prohibited before marriage and I am afraid of sex; I am afraid of what my partner would think of all of this.

C – (she/her pronouns)

I feel great with myself and my unique being

The first time I felt insecure about my vulva was when I was fifteen, I have always been a big fan of art and I would look at paintings, (most of naked women) and think to myself “Why doesn’t my body look like theirs?” Then I started watching porn and that thought grew to the point of causing me fear of being intimate with someone because they could think that my body was weird. And honestly, I began to discard those thoughts when I found this page, and I'm really grateful. It helped me a lot to know that someone else looks similar to me, I started searching information on the Internet and talking to other women who feel the same, even my own sister and I didn't knew, and now I have the knowledge of my normality and of my particularity and I feel great with myself and my unique being.

I – 22 years old

She’s functional and gives me pleasure

I remember when I was 8-9 years old and I asked my mother what was this skin inside my vulva, and she answered "that's because you grow up". It's the best answer my mother could give me because I felt so satisfied to become a woman. But later, when I was around 14-15 years old and start my sexual life, I start feel uncomfortable with my inner labia, which where longer. And because of the color. I think it comes from porno. Before I watched porno I didn't feel like this.. I hope that be part of this beautiful gallery I'm gonna be more confident about my vulva.. at least she's functional and gives me pleasure, so I have to love my vulva! Thanks Hilde for your Instagram page ♡

M – 23 years old (she/her)

Happy, beautiful and confident

Although you could think that my vulva looks pretty common, I never had a good relationship with it. It started when I was a little kid seeing my friends and family naked. I noticed that they all looked different; thinner, smaller, with a higher slash or with noticeable inner labia. This wasn’t how I looked like. I didn’t look like the girls in the catalogues, like the models. I felt like, I am too big, too much, not cute enough. I hated what my mons pubis looked like in a bikini, in underwear and in my leggings. Growing older didn’t make it better. My boyfriends telling me I am beautiful didn’t make it better. My mommy (who was – for a long amount of time the only one I knew – looking alike) telling me that she loves our looks and that the men she dated loved her look, didn’t help. I always told myself that as soon as I have the money, I’ll visit a surgeon to change my mons pubis. That was before I found this project. Before I saw the fascinating diversity in vulvas. Before I noticed, that I don’t look weird and that there are tons of people out there who look like me. And who are confident with this look! It was before I internalised that we are all beautiful. No matter how long or short your inner labia are, no matter how big your mount venus is. No matter what! Today, I am so happy: Happy that I look like my mommy, happy in my underwear, happy dancing naked in front of my boyfriend, happy in the sauna, in front of my friends, happy in my leggings. I was happy before I lost 15 kilos due to an unpredictable illness (it is incredible how my vulva changes when my body and my weight changes) and I’ll be happy when I gain back these 15 kilos, which will make my vulva for sure a bit chubbier again. :) And: I am so so happy and looking forward to hang my personal vulva portrait (which my mommy gave me as a Christmas present) into my new flat – where everyone can see it. Always reminding me that this project helped me feel happy, beautiful and confident.

R – 27 years old, Germany (she/her)

Instead of getting myself a labia surgery, I am getting myself this vulva portrait

As many of you know, sexual education is not yet what it's supposed to be. As a young, curious girl, I looked at porn to acquire more knowledge about bodies and sex. When looking at porn, I immediately noticed that my vulva looked different from the typical 'porn vulva'. Not only did it make me incredibly insecure, I actually thought that I had caused this, that the – what I used to think of as a malformation – was my fault, from wiping too hard on the toilet and early forms of masturbation.

I made it a deal with myself that one of the first things I would do when turning 18 was getting a labia surgery, to make my vulva look 'normal'. Initiatives such as The Vulva Gallery came to the rescue only just in time. They taught me that there is no 'normal' vulva and let me admire the huge diversity of vulvas.

Today, I am 18. And instead of getting myself a labia surgery, I am getting myself this vulva portrait. Because my vulva is beautiful. And so is yours.

Thank you so much for what you are doing Hilde, it is an honour being part of The Vulva Gallery!

E – 18 years old

Lovingly cared for every day

I have an amazing vulva. Isn’t she a beauty? She is a recent addition to this body of mine, reconditioned from flesh I had not wanted. I’ve had her less than three years after waiting more than five decades. I was very fortunate to have such an amazing artist/engineer/surgeon to help me with the bodywork.  Everyday I am so grateful to be in a time/place/situation to be able to have made this change, to let the world see me as I always have. I know not everyone has the opportunity to realise such dreams, nor is it a dream of everyone, but for me it was and is and I could not be happier with my “Design’a Vagina”, my “Personalized Pussy”, hand-crafted and lovingly cared for every day. It is true that every vulva is unique and has a story to tell. That is a bit about me, what about you?

D – 53 years old

She is softness, she is delicacy, she is me

I used to think my vulva was not normal, ugly, stinky, strange, too hairy... The list of adjectives could be long. I do not know where it comes from because I was not even in contact with perfect vulva images. I was actually not in contact with any vulva picture at all. It was like taboo. Maybe because of my education, maybe because I thought I was not normal wanting to know what vulvas look like. Now I know it was rather sane curiosity. But all those years, I was ashamed, I was afraid to show her to anyone. I felt so uncomfortable. I even thought I would stop dating and making love. I was afraid, she was afraid. But discovering other vulvas around the world, I started to consider mine, to respect her and little by little I even start loving her. My sweet boyfriend helped me a lot. The Vulva Gallery too. My vulva is softness. She is delicacy. She is me. Now, I just wanna tell every women in the world they are beautiful the way they are. Every vulva is beautiful. Every woman is beautiful. Everyone is beautiful. And no one should be afraid to be curious about his/her body. No one.

L –

Lichen sclerosis

My vulva was something I was very unfamiliar with for so many years. But lichen sclerosis changed that for me. The symptoms were so painful and the muscles of my vagina were literally traumatised from the experience that I could no longer ignore this part of my body. After a diagnosis and perineal physiotherapy, I finally made peace with and started celebrating my vulva, despite having permanent side effects from the lichen sclerosis (for example leaving me with barely any inner labia and a much drier vulva than before). I allowed myself to use lube on a regular basis and read an awesome book (Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski) that led to a new phase of my life where I generally care for and respect my vulva so much more. Also, I have always had a very "hidden" vulva, having lots of pubic hair and pretty small inner labia even before they disappeared. Sometimes I let this curly hair grow and sometimes I trim... but I love that it is reddish and curly and comfy.

C – 32 years old

No risk of developing cervix cancer anymore

Yeey I turned 30 years! From this age in the Netherlands you'll get tested every 5 years for cervix cancer. Don't worry, the doctor told me. Unfortunately the PAP-test results weren’t good. The next test followed at gynaecology. Don’t worry, they said. Two weeks later a call: the difference between expectation and result was extreme, so they would discuss it with pathology. Another two weeks went by. Meanwhile I was so scared; there is nothing I could do, it felt like my body failed. Finally, they decided to perform a lisexcision; an intervention in which they use a flammable wire, with which would burn away a walnut-sized piece located at my cervix. This raises the chance of early-birth of a baby. Another two weeks later, my dad drove me home after the lisexcision – tears in my eyes, they took away a very beloved piece of me. No risk of developing cervix cancer anymore. The only information about aftercare is to avoid exercise and intercourse for 6 weeks. It’s not a subject you bring up on every party so I felt so lonely. I just wish I could’ve shared my story with someone who has been though the same rough experience. That way I would’ve felt more understood in my situation. Since this intervention, I get tested every 6 months, which makes me feel safe. I feel transformed now, I love and appreciate my vulva more and more every day, she gets all my love she deserves. If YOU get invited for a check, please go!

M – 30 years old

Learning to approach myself with mildness and self love

After giving birth I had the feeling my vulva changed a lot. In reality, it did change partly because of the sutures that were too tight and not as nicely done as I would have liked. Before my pregnancy I never really felt that positive towards my vulva, and after giving birth I’m still struggling with that. But I also have a huge appreciation for my vulva now. This new found appreciation is still a process, but I'm learning to approach myself with mildness and self love. To "reclaim" my whole pelvic floor area as a whole, is something I’m learning right now, and of course my vulva is a part of that: I’m allowed to love, cherish and make it mine again. Therefore I would love to be part of the gallery- it feels like a part of my process: to see my vulva in a different way, very literally in this case :) and acknowledge it in everything it is. Thank you so much for helping me and other women with that! This is such a valuable platform.

C – 34 years old

Uterus duplex bicollis

When I was seventeen years old, my gynaecologist told me I had a malformation of the uterus, which means something was wrong or different about my womb. Suddenly, I had become a person with an abnormality, which would not fit with the image I had had about my body nor myself. That is why I prefer to call myself a mutant with some superpowers. So, all this has to do with my exceptional uterus duplex bicollis – which means that I have two complete wombs that both have their own uterine neck. My gynaecologist was really excited when she found out while having her ultrasound unit inside of me. I was utterly perplexed and first felt happy because it was an explanation for so many things. For instance, the fact that I could feel a membrane in my vagina, which turned out to be the septum that separated the two uterine necks. Furthermore, I understood why it was not enough to use only one tampon when I had my period, or why it was sometimes painful to have sex, depending on which vagina was penetrated since they are of different sizes. Shortly after, I got my vulva pierced (there is now a scar at this point), because I was proud of having such an extraordinary and beautiful rarity. Back then, I did not know that this malformation often leads to premature delivery or even miscarriage and can reduce fertility. Almost ten years later, I have and want to face these aspects since I would love to carry to full term at least one child myself. Hence, doctors advise me to remove the septum operatively because giving birth could lead to great pain and complications. It is a small intervention, they say, yet every intrusion feels like it is one too much. Nevertheless, I am lucky for living in a lesbian relationship, which is why artificial fertilization and mutual children are seen differently. Despite of all the downsides and possible difficulties, I am proud of having my super wombs – they gave me the feeling of being special and still do so today. Without them, I would have never paid so much attention to my wishes and my body and therefore I do not see it as a malformation or abnormality but rather as my personal super power and one of the reasons why I am unique.

A – 26 years old

We are all so different

The relationship with my vulva was not always easy, especially because of the unique model that I saw on screens and which I did not look like. But we are all so different, and I know now that this difference is what makes us powerful. How boring would we be if we were all similar? I will not deprive myself of feeling pleasure anymore and being emancipated just because of what my vulva looks like. Fuck those who can't go with it and accept us like that. Let's embrace who we are and have fun with the body we have xxxx 

J – 19 years old

Knullrufs

Somehow, I was very lucky about developing a quite good relationship with my vulva from an early age on. I was never ashamed of its looks, smell or functions. I am thankful for that because I know that cannot be taken for granted. When I was a teenager I started to shave my pubic hair, because I thought that’s just what you’re supposed to do. I never liked how it looked and felt “naked“, though. So when I was a bit older I just stopped doing that. I became very proud of my red curly bush. Whenever a sexual partner was surprised or even skeptical about it, I just told them that I like it that way and it is none of their business how I want my body to look. That was a very empowering experience for me. I also met people who were particularly fond of my ginger bush. One of them is a person I was very close to for over a year, they introduced me to the Swedish word “knullrufs”, which means messy hair (on your head) from having sex. I fell in love with that word and decided to dedicate it to my vulva in a tattoo. It’s supposed to be funny and ironic, of course (because people often think or tell you in order to have sex you need to shave/trim/wax), but also a sign of my deep appreciation towards my beautiful vulva and the wonderful moments I shared with said person.

L – 31 years old

I never thought someday I would start accepting

I started to touch myself since I was around thirteen years old. I've never had sex education from my parents and all I know it's because my curiosity. I started watching porn at that age and also my desire of having that kind of body. 

I wanted those big and firms boobs. I wanted that pink, symmetrical vulva. I wanted that belly, those curves. I used to think that the only way to feel satisfaction was introducing toys into my vagina, so I did it. I've never tried to know what I actually like. 

At the age of 20 I had my first boyfriend. My insecurity increased so far with him... he used to watch a lot of porn where the women had that kind of vulva I would like to have. He never liked give me oral sex because how my vulva looks. He said: "It looks like if you have been using it for a long time. I don't think you're a virgin. A virgin one doesn't look like yours... also, you didn't bleed." Those words still hurt. 

Right now I'm 23, I have another boyfriend (my fiancé) and I'm learning how to love myself. The first time we were together he wanted to give me oral sex before I give it to him. It was shocking. He always says how much he loves all of me, he loves my non pink vulva, my non firm boobs, my non tiny belly... I've never thought someday I would start accepting how different a vulva could be from another one. 

Thank you for an amazing project and work you do. You make my journey so much easier with your anecdotes and drawings! 

T – 23 years old

This is me. I am beautiful.

This is my vulva. Some years ago it was not possible for me to think about showing a picture of my vulva with pride and confidence. My vulva was always kind of “working against me“. I thought she wasn’t beautiful enough and I had a huge problem with pubic hair. In my early puberty when hairs started to grow I immediately cut them off because it felt gross to have them. I’m a very sensitive skin person so I always had problems with rashes, pimples, bad infection of ingrown hairs and shaving myself was just a torture. 

During a trip overseas I wanted to do an experiment together with my best friend. Growing our pubic hair. This was the first time seeing myself with pubic hair. Feeling myself with hair. My feelings were ambivalent as I was not sure if I liked it or not. In some moments I felt shame of being dirty and gross. In other moments I felt powerful. After some months I shaved again. And then something shifted. This was not me. I felt kind of naked. Now I’m having hair since some years and I feel proud and beautiful. This is me. I am beautiful.

L – 29 years old

I think she looks like a heart

I'm from Brazil, I'm twenty-one. When the appearance of my vulva began to change, it made me very sad, I always found it ugly and abnormal. I have not looked in the mirror for years, I was not naked in front of anyone, I always had sex with the lights out. I cried when I looked at her. Once I took scissors to the bathroom with the intention of cutting. I'm still learning to love her, her gallery is helping me in this process, today I know that each vulva is unique and not anything wrong with mine. I even think she looks like a heart. Congratulations on the work, it is inspiring and helps many women worldwide.

L – 21 years old

Take me as I am

I would like to say that growing up I never knew people could be different down there or view themselves as "ugly" for that matter. Vulvas were vulvas and willies were willies (as it should be). But since puberty I've always felt dirty down there. I couldn't understand how anyone could touch their vulva, let alone be able to sleep without panties on (or even naked). I don't have a scent at all, but I hate how much discharge I produce. I'm disgusted by myself. I often have to go to the bathroom several times a day just to baby wipe or refresh down there. I feel like I can never wear nice panties because I always ruin them and I don't want to have to buy panty liners constantly (it doesn’t make me feel sexy, and it produces a lot of waste). Sadly only quite recently I've started to hate the appearance of my vulva too. I hate that I have "flaps", that they are wrinkly and that they hang down a tad. They hurt and get uncomfortable and "in the way" when I sit down. I often have to "rearrange" myself down there which doesn't really change anything. I have an awful new habit to "tuck" my labia in a bit so it looks more neat, symmetrical and less dangly. Even just taking this photo I realised something new I hated: why is my skin darker down there? However much I hate myself down there I will always be a "take me as I am" girl and will never change myself for anyone and will tell any other person or partner to go stuff themselves if they ever say something negative about my body. I respect myself and don't have time for immature people who say bad things about my vulva. I truly believe that the media, mainstream porn and just plain sexualising everything in life has these awful outcomes of us hating ourselves. And we would be so much happier if mainstream porn was real and natural. Then we wouldn't feel as insecure to show ourselves.

C – 24 years

The prettiest vulva I’ve ever seen

I’ve come a long, long way in loving my vulva. I remember the first time I thought there was something wrong with my anatomy. I was in 5th or 6th grade; my menstruation had already arrived and I began to grow pubic hair. I was scared. Why couldn't I just keep being a girl? Why did I suddenly become a woman? For me, those little pubic hairs filled me with fear and shame. I didn’t want to become a woman. Since that day, for about 9 years, I shaved my pubic hair non stop. 

The second time I thought something was wrong was in middle school. By this time I'd had one serious boyfriend and my first sexual experience with him. I was in my room and I decided to have a look in the mirror I felt devastated, why was my vulva so ugly and brown? Why couldn't she be 'normal', like the women that work in porn? I immediately called my best friend at the time and I told her I needed to get a labiaplasty surgery. I don’t even remember what she told me, but I think she thought I was crazy. Or at least I think I was. Because now when I look at my vulva I see one of the prettiest things I’ve ever seen. 

For this I have to thank my ex-boyfriend, who was the most loving and accepting person that I’ve ever dated. One time, when we were having sex, he was about to get down on me and he told me I had one of the prettiest vulva she had ever seen. And that he didn't mind if I had pubic hair – he liked them. I remember I laughed. I mean; I’ve received compliments about my face, my legs, my butt – but my vulva? This was the first time. And how cool that my boyfriend didn't mind my pubic hair! What a relief.

I have to remind myself that sometimes people see things in me that I don’t see myself because I’m way too busy comparing myself with others. Even comparing my vulva. Now, I don’t think there is something wrong with my vulva, the colour of my skin and my pubic hair. I love the look of my vulva and I don’t feel I need to shave her in order to look sexy. Don’t get me wrong, if shaving your vulva empowers you, do it. But it sure didn’t empower me. I sincerely think my vulva is the prettiest and I don’t meant to brag nor to say everyone else’s is not as beautiful. This account has helped me big time to see that there’s as much diversity in vulvas as human beings and that’s amazing. Especially in a world that is constantly teaching us that we need to have a certain body type. Lastly, I want to tell you all that your vulva is beautiful, you don’t need to shave it in order to look 'pretty' or sexy, you don’t even need a loving partner to tell you. It is, because it is. It’s as rare and unique as you are and that’s enough. Sincerely, Paola. And yes, I put my name because I own it and I’m very proud.

Paola – 25 years old

Learning gradually to love my vulva

I've been struggling with my clit since I was fifteen. At this age, I discovered that I was feeling real pain in this area and that something looked wrong. The thing that grew on my clit turned out to be keratin and I had to be put under anaesthetic so the doctors could remove it as it was too painful. Months after the surgery, it came back but the doctor gave me a cream to deal with it. I lived with the pain for more two years during which I shivered at the idea of my clit being in contact with anything and my vulva was linked to pain and discomfort to me instead of pleasure. The gynaecologists appointments were always painful both physically and mentally and I always left them almost crying. Now the pain seems to be gone and I am learning gradually to love my vulva instead of hating it for making me suffer every day.

L – 18 years old (she/her)

My vulva is totally gorgeous and I love her so much

My relation with my vulva has always been difficult. When my body started to change, I hated myself and I was horrified by the appearance of my intimate part.

As I have urinary problems because of my spina bifida (spinal cord injury), it was hard to see my vulva as a zone of pleasure. I also understood at 16 that I could have sensation problems during sex: I tried alone to give me pleasure but in vain, so I was terrorised to make love for the first time and feel nothing. I hated my vulva for this and for its appearance.

When I met my first boyfriend at 19, I realised that my vulva was normal and that I could feel pleasure, even if I cannot have orgasms. It was such a release! I thought I had finally accepted my body and my vulva. 

But at 22 my complex came back because of one man: he never touched me during sex and I felt so bad, I was sure the problem was my vulva. I lost all my self-confidence and stayed far away from men. 

During these hard times, I discovered the Vulva Gallery and it has changed everything: I definitely started to accept my body as it is and I had the courage to have sex with a new partner, who really liked my vulva! 

Now, I’m 24 and I’m so happy to say these words: my vulva is totally gorgeous and I love her so much

M – 24 years old

My confidence and acceptance are growing

Ever since I reached puberty I’ve been conscious and insecure about my vulva’s look, smell etc. I started shaving in high school ‘cause I thought I had to in order to be desirable, even though I hated the stubble and itchiness. It’s hard for me to relax in intimate situations. Complications due to childbirth left me with a weak pelvic floor, which did nothing to improve my self esteem. I instead got more concerned about my partners’ (lack of) sensation during sex. Which is ridiculous, my own lack of sensation and vaginal pain is way more important. But it’s taken med eight years to come to that conclusion, and I still struggle with my priorities and feelings.

I first started letting my body- and pubic hair grow about five years ago, as a mean to show my niece and children that you don’t have to conform to society’s beauty standards. And it made me feel free, and sexy in a way I haven’t felt before. I still occasionally shave or trim, but only on my terms. I’ve also mustered the courage to start seeing a urologist who specialises in pelvic floor muscles after childbirth.

I can’t say that I love my vulva, I don’t. But my confidence and acceptance are growing, so maybe one day. Thank you all for reading and sharing your own stories. It’s been a big part of my own self acceptance. And thank you Hilde, for making it possible.

P – 32 years old

Embracing the power of choosing whatever makes me happiest

I went through a few growth phases with my pubic hair – when I first became sexually active, I tried to shave everything off because I heard that was what women were supposed to do. This was time-consuming, painful, and created red bumps that I disliked more than my hair. Then, I was told that a feminist keeps her pubic hair natural. But when I let my hair grow out, there was so much of it that my underwear did not fit comfortably and I felt like it was harder to keep myself clean. Finally, in adulthood, I’ve made the determination that I don’t need the full bush to be a feminist – a true feminist embraces the power to choose whatever makes her happiest and healthiest. I landed on the happy medium of trimming, and I’ve never looked back!

K –

It deserves to be loved and treated with respect

I was five when I accidentally rubbed my crotch against the arm of my grandma's couch. I didn’t know what I was doing, I just knew I liked it. No one explained to me that you shouldn’t touch your vulva in public. My family shamed me, calling it my 'habit' and I was punished when caught. My grandma told me I'd break 'it' and should stop. Years later I saw porn for the first time. My vulva didn't look like the neat and tidy ones on display so I felt she must've been right. In my late twenties I met a man who took the time to tell me how beautiful my mind and body is. I did some research and found that childhood masturbation is incredibly common; it was comforting to learn that after years of thinking I 'broke it' was wrong and I wasn't alone. It taught me that my vulva is unique and it deserves to be loved and treated with respect.

M – 34 years old

Regaining comfort in my own skin

I’ve never felt confident with how I looked, particularly after having children. During pregnancy and weight gain my vulva also seemed to get more puffy and uneven. It made me self conscious, especially during intimacy. It has taken me ten years to regain comfort in my own skin. Thank you for showcasing and normalising diversity ♡

J – 31 years old

I always think there is something wrong with me. 

Remember those days in middle school and high school where people around you started to having those talks? Who's hot, who's allegedly sleeping with whom, even who has access to the "special toys"? Some people love those gossip, some hated it. Some want to be the protagonist, some are disgusted by them. 

Me? I don't understand it. If you have sat through a foreign language class on the first day, then you know what I mean. Hearing those talks is like listening to people speaking in a second language. I could understand all those words, but cannot really process the meanings. I do not truly understand what finding someone "hot" means. I do not understand the obsession of "sleeping with someone." It sounds like additional burdens on a relationship, which is perfectly fine as is when two people spend their times together and maybe hold hands. As for the body part that everyone seems so interested in, the vagina? It is just a body part that is there, and serves no purpose besides minor inconveniences once a month or so for a few days. 

I thought I was weird. I thought something was off. Because I was the only person who did not "get it" – not as in being prudish, but as in physically processing that information.

It would take another six years before I finally discovered the identity of asexuality. Learning that I have a name, I was not defective was unbelievably liberating. 

And I now know that I would love my vagina nonetheless regardless of what I feel or do not feel. 

S – 25 years old

I want her to look just like her

I hated my vulva since I watched a porn video for the first time. I thought that my inner labia were huge and gross. My boyfriends didn't really change my mind. I was so ashamed of my vulva that I gave oral sex but didn't want to receive it. I felt as if I became their sex toy and thought that I really preferred to give than to receive. Also, I would shave and pull out any hair that appeared on my vulva. I wanted to look like porn stars so much that I even considered labiaplasty. 
And then I met my current boyfriend. When we were in bed for the first time, he wanted to give me pleasure and I really didn't know how to react. He gave me gentle oral sex, for the first time in my life I truly liked it. For the first time I wasn't ashamed of how I looked, smelled or tasted. I knew that he finds my vulva beautiful the way it is. I felt that. And fell in love with her all the way long. 
Our needs are equal and now I can really enjoy sex. I love giving and I love receiving. I feel free. I finally accept my body; my inner labia which aren't as big as I thought; my hair and everything that is relevant to my vulva. I don't want her to look like in porn movies anymore. I want her to look just like her.

I – 21 years old

I chose to have a tubal ligation

Hello everyone, I'm 22, pronouns she/her. In February I got a tubal ligation and I think it was one of the best moments of my life. The doctor who performed my surgery was very understanding, although she did bingo me a little in the consultation. What really stuck out to her is when I said, “This surgery is for me, not my future husband. If some day down the line he changes his mind about children then that’s up to him. We break up and he can go have kids. But no matter who I’m with I know I don’t want kids and I definitely don’t want to try to get convinced otherwise. This surgery is for me and no one else.” There’s actually a list of ‘safe’ US doctors on reddit that you can search through for things like birth control, tubals, vasectomies, etc. If allowed, I can add it here. I think the worst part about the recovery is all the gas they pump inside your stomach; you feel bloated and gassy for days afterwards and it kind of hurts when you burp. The best part was knowing I would never have that fear of being pregnant again. Just watching movies about couples having kids or being pressured to ‘start a family’ psyche me out. My fiancé and I ARE a family; him and I with our cat, dog, rats and tarantulas. We are a family. Thank you so much for this opportunity!

R – 22 years old

I brought new life into this world

My name is L, and I’m not ashamed of that little thing between my legs as it has brought me a lot of pleasure, in more ways than one, over the years. I wouldn’t want it any other way. It defines my femininity and love for everything female. I have always enjoyed being a woman with the knowledge that I can carry a baby and bring new life into this world. I did just that on January 31, 2014 when my daughter was born on that cold, blustery wintery day. I luv and treasure my vulva everyday and I’m proud to share it here. Enjoy!

L – 43 years old

Somehow I’m insecure about the look of my vulva too

I found it difficult time to tell my story, not because it is so private or dramatic, but when I was reading the stories under other portraits you shared, I thought I wouldn't have something to share myself. I was never especially unhappy with the look of my vulva, I didn’t think about what I'd want to have changed by surgery. But honestly, I took a couple of pictures until I sent you one. I don’t mind getting changed in a big changing room before swimming, or to shower in the gym. But having an exclusive picture of my vulva felt weird. I wasn’t happy with the first ones, but I could finally decide on one. So maybe it is there; somehow I’m insecure about the look of my vulva too. I had a picture in my mind, what it should look like. And now it feels irrational that I cared about it when I was taking a picture for this project that wants to show the various ways vulvas look like and they are all beautiful.

L –

I am not alone

I admittedly have a really bad relationship with my vulva. I noticed when I was fifteen that my inner lips hung lower than my outer ones – before that, I had never really looked down there and so was never self conscious – but ever since then, I have been so embarrassed about the way that I look. I hate saying that, because I look at all the other vulvas on this page and I genuinely think they’re all beautiful, and so I hate to think that other women feel embarrassed about the way their vulvas look. But when it comes to me, I am so self critical that I still can’t stand the way my own labia are. This has held me back so much, sexually, as I’m scared of what partners will think and because of that, I used to really want labiaplasty; I’m eighteen now and the thought still crosses my mind, but I’m on the road to trying to love myself and appreciate what I have. I’ve got a long way to go but I’m getting there. I’ve never actually spoken to anyone about this, but this page makes me feel like I’m not alone, so thank you Hilde ♡

G – 18 years old

I love the skin I’m in

I used to think that vulvas were “ugly”. At least that’s what I’d been taught at school. If you had “loose” labia it wasn’t considered normal and so I became increasingly worried about mine. But the more I think about it, the more I have grown to love my vulva and my body. The thing is, if we were all the same there would be nothing new and exciting about our bodies for us to discover. I love exploring the positives about my body and I love the freedom it gives me, I can discover new things about myself that I never realised before and that is one of the most empowering things a woman can experience. 

Once you break the barrier between being “embarrassed” about your private parts, you open a whole new street of doors to explore. From self pleasure to intimacy with a partner where you feel confident enough to enjoy it. I no longer feel embarrassed, I feel empowered and proud of who I am and I love the skin I’m in ♡

E – 20 years old

You deserve to love yourself

As many of the women who have been part of this project I’ve dealt with insecurity and low self esteem since I could remember. In addition to that, coming from South America isn't helpful to women who want to love themselves because of what our families teach us, they always say "do not touch down there, it's a sin", "you gotta cover up or people would think you're a slut". Those kinds of comments left a scar on me. When I started my sexual life it was awful, because I felt disgusted by myself and didn't fully enjoy my first sexual experience when I was 16. At that time I was still discovering my sexuality, which made this journey even harder, as being bisexual in my culture isn't accepted for a teenager so my relationship with my body was getting worse as the time passed by. Years ago I started going to therapy and it helped me to accept myself as I am with all my flaws. It wasn't easy but it was totally worth it. And a year ago I met a wonderful man who made me feel beautiful and loved no matter what, and even though he's not with me anymore I still thank him for helping me through this process. I want to say to all those people who struggle with their own demons: please keep it up, look around because you're alive and you deserve to love yourself, look for help when you feel you cannot do it by yourself, and talk to someone because you're not alone. Thanks to The Vulva Gallery for this amazing job, a lot of kisses and a warm hug from Venezuela.

MJ – 21 years old

Alopecia and embracing my femininity

My hair loss started a year ago. It began behind my ears, on the top of my head, later my legs and after just two months I had lost all hair on my body. Except on my vulva. I was later diagnosed with Alopecia, an autoimmune disease. Before this, I never thought about my femininity but after this I gave it a lot of thought. All I wish for is for my hair to grow back, and because of this I have decided to not shave the hair on my vulva. Since I figured out how much the hair meant for my femininity and sexuality, how can I then shave off the only hair I have left.

J – 23 years old

Now I feel blessed

I feel very self conscious with my vulva's appearance. First of all, with my pubic hair: I wish I would have no hair at all, so I wouldn't have to have to wax it or trim it, because it makes my skin turn red and I have small rashes just where some pubes peek out of my undies. This makes me feel quite embarrassed when changing in front of other women at the gym. Secondly my labia: I don't hate them, although I wish they would be smaller. However, the thought of undergoing surgery horrifies me. And I am friends now with the fact that they are not perfectly pink. Initially I thought there was something wrong, and even my mother looked puzzled when I ask if some coloration was normal in my lady garden. But now, I feel blessed because I have a strong, healthy body, and joyful lady parts with real power!

AP – 29 years old

I absolutely adore what she looks like

When I got my portret in the mail, it made me cry. Hilde was able to capture and paint it so beautifully that it made me love my vulva even more. The relationship I’ve got with my vulva has had its up and downs. My pubic hair started growing when I was around 7/8yr old. Nobody my age had it yet, I felt as if I did something bad to get it already. My mom and I have always been open about everything, so she told me that, yes, maybe it was a bit early but still perfectly normal. All my body hair makes me feel like a woman. Some guys told me to shave entirely, I would just tell them to shut it and leave. My mom had a labiaplasty herself because her labia were hurting her, I know how it looked like before, the same as how mine look now. One guy even told me I had a “flappy vagina”. I went through a period of time where a wanted to get the surgery as well, I even went to a doctor, she said they looked beautiful and recommended not to get the surgery. Now, I am happy that I didn’t go through with it because I absolutely adore what she looks like. The first time my boyfriend, aka the very first person who was able to make me orgasm, saw my vulva he said I had the softest and cutest one. This vulva portret was a gift to him. Thanks to Hilde for all that they do for people who feel insecure about their vulva’s or for whom just simply love theirs already!

A –

Brillante y misteriosa

Quizá para mi no es tan fácil hablar sobre mi vagina, al principio me costó que
salieran las ideas, quizá porque la ignoré por mucho tiempo y ahora ya no la
conozco tanto como debería, me pone triste que si cierro los ojos y la imagino no
logro crear una imagen mental tan clara y precisa de ella…
Al contario, cuando era niña recuerdo que me era muy familiar explorarla con los
dedos, usualmente me sentaba en flor de loto y la observaba con un espejito
pequeño de esos que de un lado son normales y del otro agrandan la imagen. Me
recuerdo a mí misma jugando con ella, admirando todas sus curvitas, sus formas y
sus bordes, me encantaba y me intrigaba, me la imaginaba como una flor extraña,
brillante, misteriosa.
Después con los años no se como ni porque me olvidé de ella, quizá me cansé o
me aburrí de verla o de tocarla y también dejó de ser mi amiga, tan solo daba por
hecho que estaba ahí y empecé a usarla solo como un vehículo para sentir placer,
así que si… por años mi vagina solo fue un receptor de penes sin identidad.
Cuando conocí a mi esposo el se encargó poco a poco de reestablecer esa
relación perdida, desde la primera vez que la vio se enamoró y comenzó a
hablarle, le dice palabras de amor, le da besos y le pone sobrenombres cariñosos
como puchi y conejito y también él dice que huele a mujer y que sabe a fruta
madura, de esas suaves, dulces y jugosas.
Así gracias a él volví a descubrir la magia que hay en reconectarme conmigo a
través de idolatrar mi vulva, de verla brillar como un umbral sagrado que da vida y
que deleita la vida.
Cuando descubrí la cuenta “The Vulva Gallery” me encantó ver los retratos
maravillosos de Hilde los cuales reflejan, diversión, intimidad y belleza en la
diversidad, también el leer todas las increíbles historias de otras mujeres que
buscan y descubren cosas hermosas relacionadas con su cuerpo, por eso me
inspiró la idea de poder tener un retrato de mi propia vagina colgado en la sala
junto con otros retratos de familia… y de la misma forma compartir esto con todas
ustedes.
Porque si… hoy puedo decir que estoy en el proceso de volver a maravillarme
como esa niña con su espejito pequeño, pero me encanta y la quiero y esa imagen
que cuelga de mi pared es un recordatorio diario de lo mágico y bonito que es ser
mujer y de que yo como todas ellas siempre llevamos entre las piernas una flor
hermosamente extraña, brillante y misteriosa.

A –

A beautiful, powerful, and life-giving force

I grew up in a very religious, very sex-negative family. When I got my first period, I cried. I was so ashamed that I didn't tell anyone. I only had my own vulva to reference as "normal", so when I hit puberty and my inner labia started growing, I was scared and ashamed and sure something was wrong with me. No one told me that was a normal part of puberty. In university, I finally searched "long inner labia" online and the top results were all about labiaplasty. That didn't help.

Then I married a man that wanted me to shave my pubic hair, even though shaving gave me horrible razor burn and ingrown hairs. Once an ingrown hair became so infected that I had to take antibiotics. (Don't worry! On my 30th birthday, I kicked him out and bought a vibrator. Best birthday present ever.)

When my daughter was born, I realized I had never seen my natural adult body, as I'd always shaved my body hair, so I let it all grow. I am working to unpack my shame so that it doesn't become hers. I still have work to do, but this portrait is another step towards seeing my vulva as the beautiful, powerful, and life-giving force that it is.

This space has been so important for me to see all of our beautiful and natural variations without sexualization. Thank you Hilde, for the incredible work you do to normalize the experiences of vulva owners.

K – 33 years old (she/her)