Personal Stories

There’s a lot of power in recognising yourself in someone else’s story, and thinking: ‘Hey, that’s me, that’s how I feel too!’. Many of us aren’t used to speaking about our vulvas, but it can be very helpful to know that other people have the same kinds of experiences or insecurities.

Since 2017, The Vulva Gallery community has been sharing their personal stories with me. Here you’ll find a selection of personal stories and vulva portraits from all around the world.

I’m fine the way I am

I guess it started early high school, when a health teacher misinformed the class on how labia should look. He made it seem like there was only one type. I didn't realise I had never paid attention to mine, but later, I realised mine didn't match and it made me self conscious. Later on I became scared - not only because I thought my own parts were ugly and deformed, but I also feared that someone, somewhere, would use it to hurt me. Already being an anxious teenager, that stuck with me. I pretended my own vulva wasn't there; if it wasn't there I had nothing for my anxiety to latch on to. And if it wasn't there, it couldn't be used to hurt me. It wasn't okay to look at, nor touch, and it made me very naive to my own body. I think that caused more anxiety. Anxious of what I didn't know. Now, at 22, I'm slowly walking away from that fear and anxiety thanks to my girlfriend and good friends and places like this gallery show that me I'm fine the way I am and that I can't live in fearing a part of myself that will never not be a part of me.

B. - 23 years old

Happy and empowered

I, like many, went through a whole body image phase, and believe it or not my vulva was the biggest issue I have had to grapple with! Nobody has ever decided they wanted to showcase body beauty in such a real way that I have responded to. I have never felt more comfortable with myself, than I had once I stumbled across your Instagram.

Words cannot express how happy and empowered this portrait you've done has made me feel! Thank you so very much, I wasn't expecting to feel so emotional over a painting of my vulva but I AM! I have always struggled with self image issues, specifically with the size and aesthetic of my inner labia. Before you and your work, and every informative and positive story or comment, I had no idea how diverse and beautiful our bodies can be. This has empowered me and helped beat that pesky self image issue.

Thank you so very much for allowing me to be a part of this amazing portfolio and message.

S. - 24 years old

Happy with my vulva

I’ve always been happy with my vulva, I think it’s pretty. Sexual partners have always told me it’s very sexy and I agree, I would even go so far as to say that I am proud of it. And that’s why I think this account is so great, it doesn’t only celebrate diversity but it confirms that we can be proud of our vulvas and of our sexuality. So often we are told that female sexuality is something to be ashamed and quiet about and it saddens me. I’m proud of my sexuality and I feel great freedom in sharing this pride, without being called a slut. I’ve recently started sharing my body on an anonymous Instagram account and I love it so far. ‬
I think it’s too bad we live in a world where I don’t feel safe enough to come out of the anonymous though, because I feel like it would tarn my reputation in other aspects of my life. Maybe some day!

F. - 25 years old

It’s a journey

Pornography really affected my relationship with my vulva. I thought it was deformed and I couldn’t bare to look at it. I would cry and have panic attacks when I did look at it and it completely destroyed my self esteem. My whole sexuality was formed around this hatred for my vulva, when I started to have sex the only thing on my mind was how my vulva looked, had they seen it? Did it turn them off? When I was about 15 I went to the doctor and I told her I was deformed and I needed her to cut my inner labia out. She told me I was normal and I hated her for it. I cried for weeks and felt so hopeless. I even joined a website (despite being underage) where men would ‘donate’ money to women who couldn’t afford plastic surgery. Vulva positive instagram accounts like this were the first time I had ever seen vulvas like mine, and they have been the main factor in me learning to love myself. This is not vanity. This issue does more than effect women’s self esteem. In my case it effected my self worth, my sexuality, it made me more at risk for abuse. This project is vital, and I can not express my gratitude enough. I don’t know if the dysphoria I feel when I look at my vulva will ever go, but it’s a journey, and this project has made me love it more than I ever have. Thank you.

S. - 27 years old

It’s kinda okay now

So I've always been ashamed of my vulva and actually I still am. When I was only 10 years old my pubic hair started growing and I got my first period. When I got older the hairs got more dense and they became thicker. They started growing down my legs and up to my belly button. I still hate it and I feel ashamed about it. But I learned to live with it and it's kinda okay now. But actually I still hate it to be naked, even in front of my boyfriend. Luckily he makes me feel comfortable and I know he likes my vulva and has absolutely no problems with it and those (probably not that disgusting) hairs. And I like that feeling. It makes me more self confident.

L. - 22 years old

We are all beautiful

I was 12 years old when I noticed that my vulva was different from the model conveyed ordinarily. I was flipping through the dictionary, and found an illustration of the female human body. A few years later I was the only one of my friends who didn't want to wash together after a sludge battle. It was then that I realised that I was afraid of their judgment. I didn't tell anyone about it. When I was 16 years old, I regularly cried in my pillow, and I made the decision to give up my sexuality forever. I insulted myself of "monster" thinking to be alone in the world to have large vulvar lips. A few years later I did research online which gave me confidence to start my first love and be naked together with someone for the first time. It just relieved me of what I thought was a burden, but which wasn't in reality. Now that I am a woman, I feel stronger and more seductive than ever. Thanks to the reassuring men I knew. But also thanks to the recent democratization of the physical diversity of female bodies. We are all beautiful!!

E. - 23 years old

We shouldn’t be mean to our vulvas

I remember when I was younger I noticed that I had a long labia but I never thought anything of it. One day I was with someone and he noticed it and asked what it was, he acted like he was disgusted and I was mortified. After that I would try to tuck my labia in between my lips so no one would see it. I didn't think that something like my vulva was something considered gross. It's been somethings that's bothered me for a long time, even today I have to remind myself that all of us are beautiful, even me. This page has helped a lot, showing me and other women that all of us are different but we shouldn't be mean to our vulvas.

E. - 23 years old

Embrace what makes me unique

I never really thought twice about my vulva growing up. I never felt insecure about it or felt any way about it, really. Until I became a teenager in high school, and I discovered that I had a nickname: “camel toe.” I have what you could call a “fat vulva” (or fat pussy, as they used to say). It’s very thick skinned, and if you pinch it there’s a lot of fat in that area. So much, that sometimes it’s visible through my clothing. I immediately became insecure for the next handful of years. Trying clothes on I would just stare at my crotch through my clothing and wonder why my vulva was so visible and wishing it would shrink. Watching porn and seeing “skinny” vulvas that were barely there made me feel like I had a monster in my pants. I felt this way until about a year or so ago, when I realised that everyone’s body is so different and that it’s such a waste of your precious time and energy to be upset over things you cannot control. Finding The Vulva Gallery on Instagram has also allowed for me to let that insecurity go and embrace what makes me unique.

Z. - 25 years old

Like butterfly wings

Growing up I always knew my vulva was different. It was an innate feeling I had. I would look at my large labia and think they looked old and wrinkly. It took many years until I learned to appreciate my vulva and see it as beautiful. Now I see my large labia like butterfly wings and I am proud of having a voluptuous pussy. Thank you for memorialising my youthful vulva so I can look back on with pride when I really am old and wrinkly.

C. - 35 years old

I fell in love with myself

When I was a young girl, I never gave much thought to my vulva. As a matter of fact, I didn’t care at all that I had one. It was just a slit I had between my legs that made me wear the puffy dresses and patent leather shoes my mother would buy me. But, as I grew and started to comprehend the complexity of womanhood, I was aware that that slit came with rules and expectations. Both that are incredibly hard to follow and live up to. I used to think that I was nowhere near to being like that cookie cutter mold imposed by those expectations, and I hated my body so much for so long because of it. I was embarrassed to have sex, mortified to show it for the first time to my gynaecologist, angry because it didn’t look like the petite ones I saw that one time I wasn’t supposed to. Then, one magical day I fell in love… with myself. And I finally understood that my slit, my beautiful vulva, was perfect just the way it was.

D. - 24 years old

Seeing other female bodies in a non-sexualised manner

I feel that movements like The Vulva Gallery, that celebrate our body diversity, are essential. I would have never taken part in a portrait of this sort without the education and self-acceptance brought on by seeing other female bodies in a non-sexualised manner. Immersing myself in empowering female artwork over the last year has done more for my mental health and self-worth than anything before. 

I encourage anyone that thinks it might be fun to get involved - either by joining a movement as safe and supportive as this, or creating your own (even/ESPECIALLY if you’d never considered yourself artistic before!).

A. - 21 years old

I am art

I’ve never hated my vulva. not even when I hit puberty and one of my inner labia grew so big it started to stick out a couple of centimetres. I've never had partners telling me that it was ugly, or made me feel uncomfortable about it. I’m lucky that way, I guess. However, it took me all my 21 years on this planet to look at it and find beauty. I've never really thought of vulvas as beautiful, maybe because we're not taught to (porn? patriarchy? sexism?), even after dating several vulva owners. One day I was talking about it with my gyno and she showed me an Instagram account, The Vulva Gallery. It’s very easy to look at a painting, whatever the subject of that may be, and think of it as art, or beauty - but it’s a lot harder to think of the subject as art. But the truth is, our body, whatever color, shape or form, is art. Having my vulva painted felt empowering, and liberating. It shows I am art, I am beautiful, my vulva is beautiful.

F. - 21 years old

Blessed with long, dark-coloured inner labia

For years and years I thought there was something wrong with my body. My vulva looked nothing like the vulvas I'd seen in porn and their two perfectly defined "lips." Instead I was blessed with long, dark-coloured inner labia and a lack of education, all of which led me to believe I had a deformation. I refused to ask my doctor the questions that burned at the back of my mind, in part because I was self-conscious and in part because I was scared of what they'd say. Years later I discovered an art project, not unlike The Vulva Gallery, that made moulds of many different types of vulvas. It opened my eyes to a world of diversity, and gave me the information I desperately needed to know. I wish I could go back in time and tell my teenage self that everything would be okay. I know now that you don't have to have a specific type of vulva to be beautiful.

R. - 20 years old

Just like snowflakes

Just like snowflakes, each vulva is different. Growing up I always thought my outer labia hung too low or stuck out too much. I used to tuck them in and try to make them look smaller, but through time I learned that no matter what I tried, it’d always look the same. I also have a prominent scar above my vulva from a surgery I’d gotten when I was younger. Instead of seeing that in a negative way, it’s a reminder for me that I am STRONG! Following this page has helped me to see my vulva in a whole different light, to love and respect it for all the amazing things it does for me. To see & accept the true beauty in not only my vulva, but my whole body inside & out. Thank you 💜

M. - 21 years old

I’ve found a way to appreciate my period

I would like to share the story of difficult beginning of the friendship between me and my vulva. When my body (concerning my vulva) started to slowly transform during my early teenage years, my mum told me that I would expect my period soon. I was one of the last ones in my class to still enjoy the time without this little "proof of adolescence" - yet waiting day by day to become equal with my female schoolmates and to finally see these little drops of blood on my panties. 

I was 13 years old when it came and I didn't wait a long time to announce the good news to my close (girl)friends with great pride - however quietly, so that no male would find out. That evening, before I went to sleep, my father told me that he was proud of me. Oh, how ashamed I was that he knew it. Why my mum just did not keep it for herself? 

The next morning I woke up in a pool of blood. I was so shocked, not expecting such a strength. I did not protect myself enough. I had to go to school, so the duty to clean my bed fell on my father. I could not stop to think about this dishonour. I still remember the white pants I was wearing that day during sports class and my schoolmates asking: "Did you get your period?" I ran to the changing room and saw a red spot on it. Could this day get any worse? 

I could have not imagined that something like this would come next month and then again and again. Why did I have to be punished like this? Why did I have to handle so much, and yet at the same time pretend that nothing was happening? I started to call it "the ugly thing" and I was praying for it to disappear. I would be crying every time I realised that it would come during a trip with my friends or family. I wasn't proud anymore, and I didn't to share with anyone that I was bleeding. And even though my mother was always there to listen to my problems, I didn't want to talk to her about it either.  I hated the menstrual pads, because everyone was able to see the wings each time I was changing clothes before the sports class. I didn't want anyone to see me throwing used pads to the trash either at home or at school. I felt dirty. 

It took me a long long time, but I've found a way to appreciate my period. Now I'm observing the pieces of my uterus lining when removing my cup. I find it beautiful. I'm praising my body, which is handling the pain. I'm not ashamed to buy the menstrual pads, even if it's the only item on my shopping list. But it has been a difficult journey. I'm still sometimes afraid and shy to talk about it in front of people, especially the ones who never had it. I'm still meeting people who think periods are disgusting and something to rather not discuss. I am dreaming of teaching my children (whether they are born girls or boys) about how beautiful and important it is. 

I love my vulva with all the processes that it concerns! And thank you for this amazing site that helps me understand it even more. 

L. - 25 years old

My hair belongs to me and completes me

When I was 14 years old I started shaving my vulva. Never questioning what I was doing. Now, I'm 25 and understand what was happening to me. At the age of 14 a boy saw my genital area unshaved and asked me to shave it for him. I was so ashamed, rushed to the bathroom and took off all my hair. For almost 10 years I had to remove my natural hair because I always felt uncomfortable with it. Today I can see that my hair belongs to me and completes me. I'm only trimming my natural heart-shaped vulva hair and I am so proud of how it grows! 💛 Thank you so much Hilde for catching exactly how I see my vulva and allowing me to be a part of the Vulva Gallery!

J. - 25 years old

His flaw, not mine

A few years back I had a boyfriend who kept a bit of a grudge after I broke up with him. One day he sent me an insulting picture, comparing different vulvas to ham sandwiches. The one that was supposed to match mine was the ‘uglier’ one according to him. Before that incident I hadn’t even considered something might be wrong with my vulva, but this stupid picture got stuck in my mind for many years and I became more and more ashamed of how I looked down there. Now that I’m a little older I realise that debasing another person like that was his flaw, not mine.

D. - 25 years old

My body belongs to me

As a kid raised by strict parents I was never allowed to fully express myself, especially in body modification. Colouring hair, wearing certain clothing even ear piercing was considered provocative by my family... But now, as I grew up, I've finally made this piercing as a reminder and a statement: "My body belongs to me only and nobody can tell me what I can and can not do with it!" I hope that one day everybody in our planet will be free from any kind of prejudice and hate. And I really appreciate such projects as yours which help people embrace themselves as they are and multiply love in our society.

D. - 20 years old

Am I normal?

I discovered and explored my vulva already as a kindergarten child. I believe at one point a pedagogue told me that I could become blind from masturbating and since then and throughout my entire childhood my vulva was not only a source of pleasure but also, to a great extent, of shame and self-doubt. I often wanted to ask my mother: "Am I normal? Is this normal?" But those questions, although they would sometimes sit on the tip of my tongue, never made it out of my mouth. In my mind I was the only one doing "this" and it truly alienated me from the world around me. Luckily, I gradually found out that many of my friends masturbated in one way or another which gave me a lot of confidence back. During puberty I found my vulva rather ugly and wished for invisible inner labia. I wish I could have seen this gallery at that age, because it really makes clear in just how many shapes and forms vulvas come and how all of them are beautiful and amazing in their own unique way. Thank you for your great work and message and thank you all for your personal stories. 

L. - 26 years old

Our many differences

When I was younger, I was so scared to have sex with somebody because of what my vulva looks like. But I realised it is so stupid to be ashamed of what you are, and also what you can't choose. This is my actual state of mind, now that I have a boyfriend who really helps me feel comfortable with myself, and even feel beautiful! As you can see, I'm proud of my vulva, my hairs and pimples or spots. Our society's idea of beauty is erasing what beauty really is: our many differences.

Anonymous - 18 years old

In love and thankful

Vulvas are the gateways to the universe. We are all connected through this exquisite passage. All men, women and children on this earth have special, undeniable bonds to vulvas and we must honor them, in all their raw, fragile, tantalising, powerful beauty.

It took me a long time to realize this power. I never really spent time with my vulva until I reached womanhood. As a youth, I saw it as something quite functional. A place of pleasure, a exit for my monthly period, something to fiddle with, or a place to warm my hands when it was cold. But when I started to think more about motherhood, when I started to respect my sex and took more responsibility over who I gave it to, when I grew into the woman form of my child self, I really start to think and feel differently about my vulva. My vulva is my heritage. My vulva is my offer of true intimacy and love with my husband. My vulva is where I will welcome my children to this world. How can I not be totally in love and thankful for my vulva.

R. 

I am not alone

I have a strong love and hate relationship with my vulva. Through the years, I have managed to like it aesthetically and accept the fact that my labia are not as short as I would like to or that my skin reacts quite badly to waxing. Nevertheless, my vulva also represents a great psychological and physical pain. I have been with my boyfriend for six years now, he is the first boy with whom I had intimate relations. His love for my vulva made me love it too. The fact that he was the only person that touched my intimate parts creates an incredibly precious relation to me. My vulva, which used to make us even closer, is now the element that tears us apart. I suffer from vaginismus, which makes penetration almost impossible and, when we manage to get to this step, extremely painful. When I think about it, it makes me hate my vulva. I remember watching hardcore porn back then thinking "that is exactly what I want to do" before knowing that even a finger would be painful. 

I sometimes hate my vulva for making me feel immature (in bed and in my everyday life of course), for creating a frustration and a distance between me and my boyfriend, for being terrorised by gynaecologists and of course, for compromising the plan to have children with the love of my life. But my vulva also represents a fight that I am determined to win thanks to love, self acceptance, relaxation and trust. 

Vaginismus being quite taboo in the country I live in, I feel alone. But reading stories from different women joining the Vulva Gallery reminds me that I am not alone. Thank you for empowering us! 

G. - 25 years old

All unique and all beautiful

Being a student midwife I see many vulvas all incredibly glorious, in all their varieties. Many become so self conscious about their vulva (among other things) when in labour but they fail to see not only are they the passage to bring new life into the world they are a fantastic tool to monitor progression of labour. Different signs and signals we look out for can be viewed by simply looking at the vulva which could lead to less intimate examinations. Each vulva tells a story, all unique and all beautiful, and despite what you may think midwives can't remember specifics so don't panic. Vulvas are the passage to life and I can't put into words how powerful I believe them to be. 

G. - 20 years old

The most precious and amazing gift

To all those wonderful women out there baring their scars and stretch marks, whether they are from pregnancy, childbirth, injury or weight loss/gain, you are strong, you are beautiful, you are perfect. Those little lines (or big ones in some cases) tell a story, a special or scary story. Mine was through having my son. The most precious and amazing gift my body could have given me. Having these marks among such an intimate part of myself makes it even more empowering. I love my body, I love my marks, I love my vulva.

I am worth it

- Content warning: this story contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors. -

The first time I ever thought about how my vulva looks from a aesthetic point of view, must have been around age 12. My mom had told me about anatomy and body functions since I was a child, so I did know a lot of things my friends didn't know. But one day I came across porn, and I started to think about surgery. I thought I looked weird, considering how all the porn girls/women looked. Then I experienced a rape. It made me think I was dirty. I was confused and scared, and I suddenly forgot how to say no. So I let anyone touch me, in any way they wanted. It didn't matter if it hurt, if it felt good, if I didn't feel it. Now that time has gone by, I've finally found a way to be okay. I've practiced saying no, because realised I am worth it. I don't let anyone touch me before I know that I want to. I look at myself with love, and I know that I look just as natural and okay as anyone else. It took time to get to this point, but I think anyone can do it if I could. I wish everyone would take time to go on a journey of self care. It couldn't be more worth it. And I truly believe that we can overcome terrible things if we understand our worth and importance. One thing that made me feel important and powerful was feminism, and all the things you can do with it. Standing up for yourself, for the people around you, for the society you wish to have. 

L. - 18 years old

A blooming rose

One day when I was around twelve years old I decided to ask my mom if the skin hanging on my vulva was normal. I had always wondered why mine were so long but I never thought something was wrong with me. When I showed them to her, her reaction was something I was not expecting. She said, “if this wasn’t hurting you, I’d take you to the emergency room right now.” Of course, this reaction had me thinking something was wrong with the way I looked, that the ‘loose’ skin shouldn’t be there. She took me to three different doctors, all of them would tell me “it’s normal.” I believe after the first or second doctor my mom told me, “I’m taking you to see someone else for another opinion because that just doesn’t look normal to me.” At twelve years old, hearing that I didn’t look ‘normal’ and opening my legs up to these strangers (by strangers I mean doctors), damaged me. Yes, doctor’s told me that the skin was normal, but I needed a better explanation. Why couldn’t at least one of these doctor’s tell me that vulva’s with long inner labia were more common than I thought and that about half, maybe more or less, of the women they see in their office have labia’s just like mine. I went years feeling so embarrassed and ashamed of my vulva. I would try to tuck my labia in, I would cry myself to sleep, and I became anxious and overwhelmed by all these feelings. Come high school and all those feelings intensified. The first guy I slept with had a disgusted look on his face when he first touched me. I was so confused and embarrassed, I didn’t know how to react. All I wanted to do was hide myself as much as I could. All these horrible experiences led me to consider labiaplasty. My mom actually showed me pictures of women who received labiaplasty surgeries around the same time she was taking me to see all those doctors, so that had always been on my mind. But the more research I did on the matter, helped me learn that my labia’s are completely normal. I read what other doctor’s had to say, both male and female, I read stories from other women with similar experiences, and I found accounts like this one: The Vulva Gallery. The size and shape of our labia are all totally different and unique to every person. I have nothing to be ashamed of and I absolutely love my vulva. I’m proud to say that I feel like I have nothing to hide when I’m in bed with my partner and it is the most amazing feeling in the world. I've given birth to two beautiful girls and I love seeing how my labia changed after each birth. I read another post on here where someone said that her mom told her that her vulva was a “blooming rose”. I thought that was the most beautiful thing ever and I will one day tell my children the same thing.

R. - 22 years old

A little sparkle down below

Growing up in a Christian household, my vulva was always seen as something taboo and shameful. With this conditioning, I found it hard to see myself as being beautiful down there - it was always a thing of guilt. As I got older, I tried to find ways to make my vulva more appealing to me without attaching any judgement. After years of struggling with my sexuality, I pierced my clitoral hood as a way to enhance sensation during intercourse. Also, I just love having my piercing be a secret that only myself and my husband share, as it is a way for me to reclaim my power as a woman. Plus, it just looks so darn cute to have a little sparkle down below!

J. - 30 years old

Chronic yeast infections

For the past 8 years I've had chronic yeast infections. Which in my case is usually one or more times a month. I've gone a few months here and there symptom free.
It affected my social life, sex life and relationships, body image, self love and mental health. I've also had more physical exams than I can count, often in desperate situations where I wanted relief, by doctors I didn’t feel totally comfortable with. All of them prescribed me fluconazol (an anti-fungal) over and over. This March I had 3 infections, and my new family doctor again prescribed me fluconazol for 7-14 days. It cost hundreds of dollars and it ended up making my body totally resistant to treatment.  I would also like to add I've always used it as the last form of treatment. I've done the candida diet/cleanse (which starves yeast and essentially kills it all off safely) many times and made permanent changes to my diet such as zero sugar, low to no bread or carbs etc. I've tried every natural remedy from probiotic suppositories to apple cider vinegar rinses.

Many times doctors would tell me "this happens to many women", "some people just have this forever" - never giving me hope or information. Through the grapevine I'd hear someone's sister or wife gets chronic yeast infections but as it’s considered taboo, there was never an open conversation about it.

However, I have finally found a treatment plan and prevention! I started going for acupuncture treatment. I have been symptom free for over 7 months. I still watch my diet according to the candida diet recommendations along with taking Chinese traditional herbs my acupuncturist prescribes. And surprisingly: no beer (ever), as she calls it a "yeast infection in a bottle" haha.
I want anyone with this infection to know they are not alone, they are not gross or dirty, and they too can have relief and learn to love their vulva again instead of fear it.

S. - 28 years old

Transgender awareness

I am a post-op transgender woman. This is my vulva, crafted from formerly male genitals. My outer labia are made of what used to be my scrotum. My clitoris is made from the glans/tip of the penis, and retains all sensation. My vagina itself was made by the surgeon cutting a channel through my pelvic floor muscles, then lining that incision with the skin of my penis shaft. Of course my urethra had to be repositioned, as well.
I try very hard to educate people about transgender women when I am able. I educate formally on transgender awareness. Each semester I speak at a local community (2 year) college, speak more or less annually at a nearby university, and have driven as far as 1,400 kilometres round trip to speak at universities on the western coast of the United States. Generally, especially in the university setting, people greet my story with support. However, I would be lying if I were to tell you that everybody does so. I feel as though I need to work to create the world I wish to live in. And as my daughter has recently come out as lesbian, I'm working to make the world a better place for her, as well. Despite what the world is being shown by the "leader" currently in power here, there are many of us desperately trying to make this world a better place, not worse. I would be honoured if you were to paint my vulva and show it in the Vulva Gallery!

A. - 45 years old

A challenging path

My relationship with my vulva has been complicated. I remember when I was young; I absolutely loved being naked and feeling free. I also remember when that began to change, around when my body started to change too. In my first introductions to sexualised women, porn, and the idea of sex, I saw vulvas like mine were not only not represented, but also talked about on other women as “disgusting”. In some ways, it is a blessing, as I only feel safe sharing my body with people I really trust. But most of the time, even as a body positive feminist, I struggle with shame and embarrassment. I’ve had many sleepless nights googling labiaplasty and reading stories of women who are like me. Learning to love yourself and your body is an intensely challenging path, but I really hope to get there someday.

P. - 26 years old

It’s mine and it’s pretty

I would like to share my story about my vulva. I just recently at 41 years old came to love my vulva and labia. I hated the way it looked, I would always only have sex with the lights off because I was so ashamed of how it looked. I would see people on social media labia shaming - it made me angry to see this. One day I explored my whole entire vulva and labia and I started following a lot of pages about labia and realized my labia wasn’t the only one that looked the way it did. I embrace my vulva and labia now, it’s mine and it’s pretty. Some days I would just get a mirror and explore every crease and fold and tell myself “you’re body is beautiful who cares what people think”! I’m teaching my daughter the same things I learned at a late age in life, in hopes that she embraces her body and loves every inch of herself so that this next generation can fully understand the beauty of a woman’s body instead of shaming it.

C. - 41 years old

If you’re confident and self-loving, they will love it too

I've been following and enjoying The Vulva Gallery on Instagram for quite some time now and a little while ago I saw a lovely portrait of a woman talking about how she was unhappy about her vulva ever since she became aware of it, it was so bad that she fell into a depression and even underwent labiaplasty, hoping that it would change her view and make her able to start loving the way her vulva looked. However it did not seem to work as well as she hoped and unfortunately she is still not as confident, even after surgery. This really clinged to my thoughts! I’ve come a long way from also being insecure about my body, but I‘ve never questioned the look of my vulva though, it was a part of me – I could be unhappy with most parts of my body… (which changed over the years as I got fitter, healthier and also super confident about every part of me) but never have I thought about being embarrassed about the way I looked „down there“. To be honest I wasn't even aware that this problem exists and I realized how lucky I should feel that I never had trouble accepting my vulva. This I want to give as a little positive advice: love yourself and treat yourself good, you deserve it. I don’t want anyone to be ashamed of something that brings so much pleasure. No matter how a vulva is shaped, looking at the gallery I find them all stunning and unique in their own ways. I also often read how women are embarrassed when having sex showing their vulva, fearing that their guy (or girl) might not like it – in my experience: if you are confident and self-loving they will love it too.

A. - 31 years old

The powerful connection between my body and mind

In the past four years, I have increasingly focused on understanding the powerful connection between my body and mind, because of my intense PMS. I have learned to both accept and embrace it as part of who I am. I describe my PMS to people as being covered in a thick veil - I cannot clearly see or hear what is going on in my surroundings, it's all muffled - making communication, both ways, very challenging. Being very open about my PMS makes it more manageable. I find it necessary to explain why it might come across as though I have two 'personalities'. Although some people do not necessarily accept or understand it and others find it amusing, the majority are compassionate and understanding.

Many attempts have been made to lessen the symptoms by trying various things: herbal medication, acupuncture, meditation, menstruation coach, birth control and anti-depressants.  For the last two years, I have decided to learn and understand my natural cycle more. It's a never-ending, fascinating journey! My vulva is wonderful in so many ways, it not only gives me pleasure, but also, signals very clearly when something isn't right, it truly is magical and I feel I have so much more to discover! Self-acceptance and -love, especially of my vulva, has inadvertently led to attracting the most wonderful, open-minded, sensitive and sex-positive people, for which I am immensely grateful!

For the Vulva Gallery, it was important for me to submit a snapshot of my vulva as it was, without 'grooming' it in any way. It was a liberating and exhilarating experience! Thank you for letting me a part of this wonderful and very important project!

Sending you lots of love! You rock!

A. - 35 years old

Bartholin gland cysts

My relationship to my vulva has been an ever changing one. When I was younger, I didn't really think too much about it - to me it looked kind of weird, but I thought it was just pretty normal for it to look weird, so I didn't mind it. It wasn't until my first long term sexual relationship where I started to feel like it was betraying me. I would get these things called Bartholin gland cysts. They are these little glands that help lubricate at the opening of the vagina. They are supposed to be the size of a pea in a pod, mine would get blocked and would swell up to anywhere from the size of a cherry to a small clementine. Sometimes the small ones would go away on their own, or I would try various methods: poultices, Epsom salt baths, silica, massage, heat pads, different oils. I'd try anything, but sometimes they would get infected and swell bigger, and I would be in the emergency room with a fever and vomiting. I've never experienced anything to be so painful. The doctor would have to lance (cut) the swollen area to get the gland to drain. I've been to the hospital four times for this. Having this much trauma happen to such a sensitive area made me resent my vulva. It strained my relationship because I felt like I couldn't have a normal sex life, and I felt like my body was rejecting my lover. The doctors never gave me any helpful advice and told me there isn't too much information about it. There is a surgery that I can have that will remove my glands all together, but I've read some mixed reviews and worry about how it will affect my vulva and my sex life. I'm constantly reading about how to heal or stabilise this chronic problem I have. I love this project and am so inspired by all of the vulvas that are shown and that have incredible voices attached to them. Thank you for hearing mine.

H. - 22 years old

Believe in their singularity and beauty

I’m 39 and the first time that I looked at my vulva with a mirror was 5 years ago with my best friend. We sat on our beds, each with our mirror, looking at our vulva. It was exciting. We looked at a book with many vulvas and matched ours. So many different and beautiful vulvas! For many years, I thought my vulva was strange. I didn't have pictures of the big variety, only a standard picture of a "perfect vulva". It is so important to see how different our vulvas are. And each is beautiful and unique. Therefore I am so happy about this gallery and the possibility to see the diversity. I hope my daughters can accept their vulvas earlier and believe in their singularity and beauty.

U. - 39 years old

Struggling has made me love it even more

I was always comfortable with myself until I was in high school. I was with a couple of girl friends and we were searching images of vulvas online, and one of my friends pointed to a picture of one with a longer labia and said ‘Ew that vagina’s gross’. I quickly realized that that’s how my labia looks, and became self conscious and more aware that my vulva looked different than those girls online. Even though I was sexually active at that time with men and women, none of my partners ever commented on how my labia looked. I was still self conscious and even considered surgery to make it “prettier” and “normal” looking. As soon as I found out surgery can influence sensitivity of the clitoris, I knew that no matter how “gross” my vagina looked, I was never going to compromise sex for a “prettier” vulva. Since I found The Vulva Gallery, I have become empowered and learned to truly love my vulva - and I believe struggling to accept it has made me love it even more.

M. - 27 years old 

This is your vulva, be proud of it

Since I was an adolescent I was comparing my vulva - the color, shape, size - with the ones of porn stars. I was ashamed, and I decided to never marry anyone because I was convinced they would be shocked by how I looked. And then I fell in love with someone, and I was worried about the day when we are going to *faire l'amour*. I talked with him about it and he was the most welcoming person. He made me feel comfortable and told me: "So what! It is your vulva, be proud of it." Having someone like him in my life makes me feel blessed everyday. I thank him for being the most humble person I ever met.

S. - 21 years old

How gorgeous every body is in its own way

I had many problems with myself. I wanted to be perfect. My biggest problem was my vulva. I thought my inner labia were too long. I've gone crazy and felt so ugly with it and wanted to finally undergo labiaplasty. A few weeks later I met my first boyfriend who helped me to accept myself and feel more comfortable. Then I started Burlesque and understood how gorgeous every body is in its own way. I decided against a surgery. Even though I'm still not satisfied with my body, I try and learn to love myself more. Don't let you influence by media, who wants to dictate us what perfection is. We are all perfect, just as we are.

E. - 22 years old

No longer ashamed

The first time I went to see a gynaecologist, I was sure something was wrong with me. I was already twenty years old but I had never had sex nor masturbated and my "private parts" were so private that I had even hidden them from myself, I barely ever looked at them and touching them somehow never crossed my mind. And I was sure something was wrong with me "down there" because no one ever talked to me about sexual or intimate things, and so I concluded that meant I was in some way "broken". That is why I also avoided seeing a gynaecologist, but at some point my rationality took over and I decided it was time to
confront myself with whatever the horrid news about my genitalia might be. I was afraid of what the doctor might say upon taking a look at my vagina, all kinds of awful scenarios crossed my mind, their common point being - I must have some kind of degeneration. When the doctor said everything was OK, that was a turning point, only then I began
understanding how horrific my thoughts were and since then I embarked on a path of breaking taboos erected around sexuality in our society.

That is why being part of your gallery would be a very important step for me, to show I am no longer ashamed of myself, to show that now, when I think about my vagina, instead of fear, I feel joy.

J. - 33 years old

I love my halo mole

I've followed your Instagram for a long time now and I love what you're doing. Seeing other artists do something that matters makes me so happy. I'd love to share my story and I'd be honoured to be a part of your gallery. I've always had this mole. Since I was born it's been there. When I turned about 20, the skin around it started to lose pigment. These are called "halo moles". It's common in your early 20s for the pigment around a mole to try to attack the mole often making it increase in size. This is your body recognising a possible threat and eliminating it all by itself 🙌. At first I was self conscious of the mole itself, let alone the pale halo that highlights it. But I've decided that it's interesting and different and I love it 💕

E. - 22 years old

My vulva shines and I shine

I have been following this project for a long time and I want to say a big thank you for it! I'm a lesbian and I always knew that each vulva is special and does not look like any other, but I didn’t give it much importance. Thanks to you, I learned to notice the features and now I know my own and my partner's vulva in all the details. Moreover, now looking at the vulvas brings even more pleasure! As for my own, I realized that vulva is a part of my body equal to all other body parts, and I can do whatever I want with it. To remove my hair or not, to decorate it as I want. I have my clitoral hood pierced and wear a flower-shaped jewel, I like how it shines and how it surprises everyone who sees it. Like "wow, how does it stay there?" My vulva shines, I shine and this is an awesome feeling! My advise to everyone: love yourself, love your vulva and don't be afraid to decorate it with anything you want (and if you want, of course; you look great even without any special contrivances).

L. - 21 years old

Spread that love

Whenever I hear stories about young ladies or even women who are unhappy about the look of their vulva, from labia size, color, hair, etc. it really reminds me how important it is to instill in younger generations that every single one of us was created to be beautiful in a different way. It’s so important to familiarize yourself with your body, and to be able to accept the way you look and find the beauty in yourself to realize that you don’t need to change for anyone but you. Spread that vulva love loud and proud.

F. - 

I’m working towards it

I find myself almost daily tucking my labia inside of my vulva to hide them (well one really as it’s longer than the other). Before finding The Vulva Gallery I was seriously considering surgery for labiaplasty. I’m still not there with 100% loving myself for who I am, but I’m working towards it and The Vulva Gallery helped with that.

Z. - 29 years old

I learned to love my vulva a bit further

I had a wrong picture in my head for years, about how a "nice" vulva should look, affected by the media and the porn industry. When I was 15 years old I went to a gynaecologist for the first time. I was really afraid of what she would say about my vulva. Perhaps something would be wrong with it? Because I was sure that I would be the single case where the inner labia have grown bigger than the outer labia. It took me years until I understood that I look completely normal. Your gallery shows me how wonderful all the different vulvas are. I've learned to love my vulva a bit further :)

Thank you very much!

C. - 30 years old

Learning to love my hair

The only thing I hated about my vulva is her hair. In porn, I saw people’s vulvas appeared to be hairless or close to hairless. The boys that I used to be with always preferred a bare one. And I just didn’t understand why mine was so different from what I saw in porn. I didn’t understand why mine was considered unattractive. So I tried shaving and even lasering, just to achieve that “fresh” look. The more I tried, the more I was insecure about myself. It took me a while to learn that porn was unreal, and that other people’s opinions on my body shouldn’t be validated. I’m growing out my vulva’s hair now, and I hope I’ll learn to love my own body through this process.

T. - 19 years old

One that looks exactly like mine

Scrolling through The Vulva Gallery the first feeling I had was overwhelming pride to be a woman and a surge of gratitude for a safe place like this to feel beautiful. Then a strange thing happened to me. As I read all these powerful stories of women feeling initial desire to have something different like smaller inner labia (like my own), then rightfully embracing their beautiful, unique anatomy... I started to wish that MY body looked more like this or that or something else. I spent a lot of time looking for a vulva that looked like MINE. “So am I the weird one?” I started asking, as I found none. I bet so many other women found peace in this same process, realizing there isn’t another just like mine or hers or yours. They’re all our very own. So I decided to share my own, that way I could find one in the gallery that is EXACTLY like mine! Thank you :)

S. - 24 years old

I started accepting myself

- Content warning: this story contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors. -

Embracing my sexuality has been very difficult for me. I got my period when I was 8 years old and lost my virginity at 11, when I was raped by a cousin (for about a year or so). Since then I've been really promiscuous because I thought the only way I had to be lovable was giving sex in exchange. I felt pretty only when I was considered "sexy" so I started sending nudes very often to several guys, this lead to them sharing them with their friends. I started being body shamed and bullied at school because of the color and shape of my labia and got a nickname: "McPussy" (they said my pussy looked like a McDonald's hamburger). I was very ashamed of my [vulva] for a really long time, and even developed a feeling of disgust for one of my favourite foods (McDonald's of course). I found your blog and other similar pages some months ago and I started accepting myself. I thought "If you love a big mac why wouldn't you love a meaty "mc pussy"?" :) Also, I understood that unrequested opinions coming from ignorant people shouldn't be taken into account. 

Thank you for being so awesome, for sharing your art and helping so much women. 

With love, from Costa Rica.

H. - 18 years old

I think to my self now: what a cute pussy

Like many others have said before me, I haven’t always loved the look of my vulva.  When I was younger, I remember noticing that my inner labia were growing longer (one more than the other) and I felt uncomfortable with that, so I would tuck them inside my outer labia (and still do sometimes to this day).  Watching pornography, I would compare myself to the women on the screen and sadly, felt unrepresented as there weren’t many vulvas quite like mine.  It came to a point where I even considered labiaplasty, but I look back and am so relieved I didn’t.  I have a wonderful partner, who loves me, respects me, and has helped me feel more comfortable with my vulva.  I am also so thankful for you, Hilde.  I think it’s so important for women to see the variety of vulva in the world.  Your art has certainly moved me and had it not been for you, I don’t think I would look at my vulva in the same way as I do now.  Looking at the photo I sent to you and seeing your beautiful painting, I think to myself, “what a cute pussy”, words I would’ve never dreamed of saying many moons ago. Thank you!

D. - 29 years old

The love for my vulva blossomed

As long as I can remember, I thought everything was wrong with my physical makeup, but especially that I was too fat and that my vulva looked how it did because I was fat. In my mind it was the only explanation as to why I had full, round labia majora and a very small tucked away clitoris and labia minora. I didn't know how to change how I looked, and so, begrudgingly lived with my vulva. When I became sexual, I felt relieved that no one commented on my vulva, however, I dissociated and so struggled to enjoy myself. In my early adulthood, a "friend" followed me into the bathroom and confronted me about my vulva on behalf of her boyfriend, who had seen a peek through my pajama shorts and apparently had "never seen one like mine" and was baffled. I was mortified. Their confronting me validated my fear that there was something wrong with my vulva, and it made me feel so much shame. I've been working on self acceptance, but It wasn't until I found The Vulva Gallery that the love for my vulva blossomed. She's been awakened and was forgiving of my negativity and neglect. She is beautiful and round, just like the rest of my beautiful, round body. I hope that sharing my vulva portrait will help someone with healing and acceptance, the way the other portraits shared on The Vulva Gallery helped me.

J. - 31 years old

A story of someone who had the surgery

It started when I was about 16 years old. I shaved my pubic hair, because I saw porn as an example. Shortly after, I realised that my vulva didn’t look like the ones I saw in porn. At that age I didn’t care much. I was more worried about the fact that shaving gave my skin a lot of irritation and ingrown hairs. I tried shaving, waxing, sugaring, epilation, IPL, creams… everything resulted in red bumps and scarring. 

I started to get sexually active, but didn’t let anyone touch my vulva. I read on Internet that some girls could get orgasms from penetration on the inside of their vagina from a so-called g-spot. Since I could only get an orgasm from clitoral stimulation, it felt like something else was “wrong” with my vagina. The way women are sexualised in media really made me feel like I could never be good enough in bed. 

In the years that followed, the hate towards my vulva grew. I still had not seen real vulvas, so Internet was my only source. There were days that I looked for hours to pictures and stories of long labia. I knew that I wasn’t the only one with insecurities about it, but it didn’t make me feel more confident about the way mine looked. At some point, it started taking over my life. With every woman I would see in real life, I would imagine how her vulva would look like. Since I never heard any women talk about vulva insecurities, I thought I was the only one with an ugly vulva. If friends were talking about showering with others or going to the sauna, I would automatically assume they had a nice looking vulva. 

The only one that knew about my insecurity was my boyfriend, whom I started dating since I was 18. He never said anything bad about the way it looked. I couldn’t have wished for a better guy. I feel bad for him that he had to deal with all the negative talks about my vulva. I hope for every vulva-owning person they find a partner that doesn’t judge your parts about the way it looks. I blamed porn for a long time that they didn’t show enough diversity, but I think it should already start at sex education in schools. Everyone should learn about the diversity of genitals and have it discussed.

At the age of 19 I started to get a depression. This had multiple reasons, but my negative thoughts would always end with the fact that I had an ugly and useless [vulva]. I could spend days crying in bed about how ugly it was. I was suicidal and the look of my vulva was definitely one of the reasons I wanted to die. I needed to do something about it, so I considered labiaplasty. I knew that all blogs and empowering sites about long labia were against surgery. I respect and understand that they empowered women to be confident and not to let them cut into healthy body parts. But I literally couldn’t live with it anymore. So I did it. I underwent a surgery and had my longer inner labia removed. I was confident in the first months after it. My libido grew and I felt like one of the main problems about my vulva was gone. I discovered more and more pleasure during sex and really wished I had done the surgery before. I wouldn’t encourage others to do it, but I really think that everyone should decide for themselves. My psychological condition was unhealthy, so I had no other choice.

However, years after the surgery, the negative thoughts about my vulva are still there. The scarring of my labia never healed very nice, so they look very wrinkly. Since my clitoral hood has always been big and wrinkly too, the focus on my vulva is now on my clitoral hood. It is way too big and it looks like a mini-penis to me. I still don’t feel feminine and skin irritation from hair-removal is still there. I am a bisexual person, but I could never share a bed with other people, since I think I will gross them out with my naked appearance. I would never dare to be nude around other people anyway.

After the surgery I remember I had a check-up with my labiaplasty doctor and he said: “now your vulva anatomy looks normal again”. I was surprised. Even a labiaplasty doctor that sees natural(!) vulvas coming in everyday, is saying what the standard for the appearance should be. That is just wrong. I really wish that the world changes its mind over how vulva’s look, so no one has to be insecure about it. I hope that with my story I can inspire people. I only read empowering stories that were against labiaplasty. I don’t want to be the “weak” person that underwent a surgery. I want to show everyone that it’s your own choice if it affects your health. But the surgery didn’t make my vulva more beautiful. I think it is still very ugly and I will never get over it. Maybe once it is drawn and uploaded in between all the other vulvas, I can embrace it by seeing all of the diversity. If anyone wants to talk anonymous with me, I would love to. In my darkest times I wished I could have talked to people that shared the same insecurities.

E. - 22 years old

Learning how to love my yoni fully

When I was younger I never considered I might have unique labia minora. It wasn't until I started going through puberty and becoming more sexually active that I realized just how unique it was. Most of the time my sexual partners wouldn't say anything about the way it looked. I took special care to shave it bare almost every day from 15 years old until about 30. I had a partner who really challenged my views of my vulva, the hair and the size of my labia. She told me it looked like I had children, which I hadn't and if I had the size of my labia would have nothing to do with that. And she made it clear to me that she associated pubic hair with dirtiness. I didn't take what she said too personally and knew that she just hadn't seen a lot of vulvae. I made a point after this to explore and research the uniqueness of the female anatomy and to really start embracing my body hair and my voluptuous labia. Now more than ever I feel sexy and confident, with or without hair. It's been a journey learning how to love my Yoni fully. I may have off days but most days I feel beautiful. Your art and this page has really helped me with body positivity and has allowed me to connect with other women in a beautiful way. I enjoy seeing the diversity and celebrating my fellow empresses as they stand in their Yoni power.

K. - 

Stay gold!

Behold, my golden bush! She is an altar of burnished flame. Many have kneeled before her and prayed to the Goddess, but not all have shown due reverence for her soft pelt. One worshipper in particular, a man of exceptional character, exalted her flaxen fur and encouraged her to grow it lengthily and luxuriously. He activated my confidence to grow out all of my body hair, and to enjoy its silken, fragrant qualities. It was during this period that I fully embraced my vulva's furry fuzz, and learned to celebrate it as a source of pride. I came to more fully understand that our liberation from restrictive body ideals set by normative culture and the beauty industry is an intertwined, interrelated process of men and women learning to love themselves, and each other, in all their glory (whatever they choose that to be). We activate each other to be the fullest versions of ourselves - so keep on shining the light that only you can shine. Stay gold!

K. 

I love its lush red colour

I shaved or waxed my vulva as soon as it started growing hair because I was worried that the red was too weird! It was rashy and painful and I wanted anyone to see it. Now that I have a good relationship with it I let it grow and I love its lush red color!!

E. - 22 years old

The most beautiful place in the world

I'm 24 years old and I'm a virgin. And I like it. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years, and recently we got engaged. He has seen me naked and he taught me a lot about my body. He taught me to love my body. Next spring we'll have our wedding. I look forward to being his first. And he will be mine.

I understand everyone who already has sex. But I am proud and happy that we are waiting for our wedding and our first marriage night. I'm a little afraid too. But I believe it will be wonderful, because he loves me as I am, loves my body with its shortcomings. And about my vulva he says: It's the most beautiful place in the world.

H. - 24 years old

I wish I had seen this when I was younger

I’ve never had given thought on the looks of my vulva until I started my sex life. How it looked, it’s color or size and shape were something I never thought about, just like my arms. I was sure everyone has a different one but I was certain everyone knew this, and it didn’t matter. But I soon would find out that it did to men. 
After my first time having sex my -the!- boyfriend said “I had a porn star vagina” and I didn’t know what hat meant. So for he first time I looked up porn. Besides being absolutely horrified at the titles and images, I found out there’s only one type of vulva that makes into porn: a teenagers. Hairless, pink and tiny. And that realisation added up to the conditioning to please men I had growing up as a girl and made me obsess over it. I got exponentially worried as I got through puberty because it was changing, getting further and further from what was “ideal”. I believe that ideal was the rule and that I was weird looking.
Today I know this not to be true, after sexual encounters with women I started to see that porn isn’t reality, and abandoned my addiction, and started to love myself. This gallery is one of the most beautiful and most honest portrayals of vulvas I’ve ever seen, and the accompanying stories make it even better. 
I wish I had this when younger, I wish I could’ve avoided years of self hate and self loathing that came with the not knowing what was actually normal: diversity. 

Thank you so much for existing Vulva Gallery, I hope it helps generations to come to be comfortable with their own bodies ♡

J. - 24 years old

Learning about my vulva

I have what I think society would deem to be an 'ugly' vulva. My skin is dark, and my labia are long and uneven. Growing up, I was raised to believe that sex was a woman's duty; that men are programmed to 'sow their wild oats' and women should be pure and virginal. This toxic messaging made me feel confused and ashamed of my sexuality, and I felt very ignorant and out of touch with my body. Rather than seeing my vulva as a part of my body, I felt that it existed purely for a man's physical pleasure - and even worse, that my vulva wasn't good enough to please a man. This idea was solidified in my previous relationships, where my partners didn't care and ignored my sexual pleasure. I felt ashamed for desiring sex, broken for not enjoying sex, unable to connect with my body, and I made dangerous and ignorant choices about my sexual health because I felt like it was out of my control.

I have begun the long journey towards undoing these toxic beliefs, and I believe a big part of this is accepting my vulva. Learning about my vulva and accepting its appearance has made me feel more confident and in control of my sexuality. My husband has also been a huge help, and I really enjoy listening to what he likes about my vulva. Your gallery has taught me a lot about my anatomy, and about the wonderful diversity of all our vulvas. Knowing about our vulvas, knowing that they exist for a purpose and that they are all beautiful in their own way is a huge step towards having a healthy attitude towards sexuality and reclaiming power in our own bodies.

B. - 25 years old

Normalising vulva differences

When I was growing up, it never occurred to me to question the way my vulva looked. It just was what it was - a vulva. The first time I felt self conscious about my vulva was when I, at the age of maybe 13 or 14, somewhat shocked, learned that my two female friends were shaving their vulvas completely. I forgot about the incident until my first boyfriend, a couple of years later, commented on my “bush.” I started waxing and shaving, waxing and shaving, even though I loved my hair. Every time I went from hair to no hair, I felt like I was losing a part of myself. I didn’t like the naked feeling, but I kept doing it because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. My second long-term boyfriend, emotionally abusive, commented on my clitoris. He said it was abnormally large and protruding. Never before had I questioned my clitoris. After that, I felt like it was standing out to far, strange, unfeminine, ugly. Until today, 6 years later, I’m still self conscious about my clitoris. Sometimes I even look for proof that it’s weird, focusing on vulvas that are different. I’m back to (most of) my pubic hair, but still catch myself wondering whether my sexual partners are discomforted by it. Sad to see how outside voices build up self consciousness and self criticism, making us think more about what others think than how we feel comfortable. I’m happy to see that there are also efforts to normalise vulva differences, which is why I love your blog!

F. - 26 years old

Taking the best care of it

I’ve been following The Vulva Gallery for quite a while, and I was struck by all the stories of wonderful women striving to accept and love their bodies and vulvas. During adolescence I didn’t have any feeling about what was “just my body”. But in the last few years (I’m 20 now) I began to be conscious about my body and, most importantly, my vulva. I started to really LOVE it and take best care of it, gifting myself the best period products, panties and sex toys. And I am proud. So thank you, for the chance you give us to display self-love and be an inspiration for those of us who are still fighting.

A. - 20 years old

This is the new era

All my adult life, I have been super self-conscious about the appearance of my vulva when all it is really, is completely normal! Humans always worry about "being different", right? When I was about ten or eleven years old at summer camp and my "front bum" was just a neat little line, I remember catching a glimpse of an older girl with what I now know were visible clitoral hood and labia, and worried then that there was something I must be missing down there. When I grew, and became sexually active, I started to worry the other way... you hear things said just generally that are mean and derogatory (basically by little boys who've clearly experienced nothing except too much plastic porn) and you think "that's me, they're also describing me!!" and you convince yourself that there is something incredibly unattractive about you. I thought that I was so hideous down there that I could only enjoy oral sex in certain positions, as I felt some made my bits "stick out more" and "look even worse". This gallery is ace and has helped me fully believe something I've known all along really - that my vulva is beautiful just the way she is. So thank you so much, especially since I enjoy sex even more now! To go full circle on the shower flashback: I saw a woman at the gym the other day who was really putting her pretty prominent lady-bits proudly on show while moisturising her thighs. She was beautiful, her vulva was beautiful, and I thought: YES!!! This is the new era!!!

B. - 32 years old

Vulvas are roses

As a child I was very lucky that my mother talked about how the woman’s body changes during puberty. That girls are roses and as they grow, they blossom and their flowers become more visible and start to unfold. Something we would never consider as “ugly” or “strange”, but exactly the opposite. Although I grew up with these wise words of my mother, this couldn’t protect me against the ignorance and insensitivity of people that made me feel uncomfortable in my body. So after becoming this rose, I’ve almost forgotten about these words.

It was not the porn industry that gave me the conception of “not being normal”. It was the movies on television and biology books at school, showing illustrations of vulvas with tiny labia and a slit between it. This kind of vulva looked very different from mine. It was uncommon for me to see adult females without longer inner labia and without a highly developed clitoral hood, because I have always thought that every woman develops in this way. At this point I would like to mention that of course there are women who do not have a highly developed clitoral hood and smaller labia, but this is just one shape out of millions of shapes and should not be considered as a general orientation. Actually, there should not be any model of a “typical” vulva, because this does not exist and that is why I consider The Vulva Gallery and the project so important.

I started to compare myself with women I saw on TV and in movies. To be honest, I started to believe that I am not a 100% woman, but something in between (intersex) because I thought it cannot be normal to have something so big between the labia majora and I haven’t seen this type of vulva among my friends in the locker room or in the shower. A few years later (I was about 15 y/o) I dared to go to a gynaecologist. He treated me as “normal” as he could and said that everything is okay with me.

Unfortunately this was not the end of the story. It was my first sexual experience with 18, when my partner said that I am strange “down there”. Today I know this was just a sign of inexperience and not my “strange vulva”. I was too young to defend myself, but I have forgiven him now, knowing that this can never get me down again.

I also shared my problem with one of my best friends and explained why I could never go to the spa without a towel around my hips. She looked very surprised and said: “How can that be a problem, everyone looks the same there!” I was shocked that not even other women know about the diversity of the vulva. I really hope that this will change over time and I think that The Vulva Gallery contributes a lot to it.

So what did I do to change my situation? One day I stood in front of the mirror and asked myself the question: Are YOU really not happy with your body? Do you really have a problem with your vulva or do you have a wrong conception of it because of a certain ideal of beauty and because of drawing comparisons to other women? And I felt very relieved as I recognized that I have no problem with it at all.

I am writing this text, because I don’t want any other girl in this world to feel like this, in a lifetime where we are young and healthy and should be proud of what we have.

I hope every person will be educated with the knowledge that every part of a human body is different and unique, like other body parts. Nobody would question, if a nose or feet look exactly the same. Some have bigger or smaller noses and so on, so why should a vulva look always the same?

If you feel sad, please think about the blooming rose. It is a piece of art, just like you, and it just gets more beautiful.

N. - 26 years old

It fits me perfectly

This is my vulva. Compared to other shapes and sizes out there I've always thought that my vulva looks really simple and plain, not that interesting so to speak. I've been overweight my whole adult life and the pubic area is this soft lump of fat jiggling around. When I was younger I used to shave my pubes because I thought that was required and guys would like that. Nowadays I prefer to just trim them to look a bit lighter since I do have quite a heavy hair if I just let it flourish. I'm now actually on the process of losing weight and I can't wait to see how in impacts my vulva area. But despite all of this I don't need anyone to say that my vulva is beautiful as it is because I've been telling it to myself ever since I was a teenager. I've always loved the shape of my vulva inside and out and thought it fits me perfectly.

P. - 29 years old

Accepting my body is an inexplicable freedom

Since I was a little girl, I've always been very tall. Because of that, it took me a long time to accept the size of my legs, the width of my thighs, and how my vulva looks. I thought my vulva was too big and white, and unattractive. By the influence of the media, and with the pressure on women in general, it took time to be comfortable with myself. I was focused on other people's bodies, and thought that if mine wasn’t like them, it would not be appreciable. Today, accepting my body and being kinder to my soul, I can finally see how beautiful I am, and how beautiful my vulva is. Accepting my body is a inexplicable freedom. So, every day, I learn how to love myself more, accepting and loving my vulva how much as I can!

Every woman should have the right to think she is beautiful. We have to have the right to appreciate our bodies, and consequently, the differences and the beauty of each of our vulvas.

M. -

Coming to terms with my scars

My parents are hippies LOL, we grew up with very healthy attitudes ‎ about our bodies. My mom even reminded us of the correct anatomical names for all our 'lovely lady parts'. Truth is I have never even thought much about how my vulva looks. After giving birth to my son I have to admit that the twenty-two stitches it took to put me back together were daunting, but like all my other scars they remind me of the battles I have survived! Neither of the lovers I've been with have ever commented negatively, just questions about the battle scars.

I am a breast cancer survivor who is currently awaiting reconstruction surgery after a mastectomy and chemotherapy. It took me a long time as a single woman to come to terms with my scars and even look at my chest but ‎time really did heal for me.

A. - 42 years old

My pigmented vulva

I am 18 years old now and the last few years have been tough. I was always conscious about the pigmentation on my vulva. Because of it I couldn't wear swimsuits. I used to search the internet about it all night and, Google always told me that it's normal. But porn stars and models made be believe it was not. I used a lot of skin products, but they would just irritate my skin. Looking at your Instagram posts and reading the captions along made me confident about myself and now I accept my pigmented vulva just the way it is.

C. - 18 years old

Pregnant

I am now 4 months pregnant. In order to conceive my husband and I tried for 5 years and had to have IVF. During this time I often felt like my body (and vulva) had failed me. As I am now blessed enough to be pregnant, I am starting to feel ok with my womanhood and also to enjoy it's sexuality again!

Anonymous

I have trichotillomania

I have trichotillomania, a disorder that causes me to compulsively pull my hair out. It is what's classified as a Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviour, a category that also includes dermatillomania (skin picking) and chronic nail biting. I don't remember a time in my post-pubescent life when I didn't have patchy, uneven pubic hair due to pulling. This has always been a point of insecurity for me, and I often feel obligated to shave in order to hide my disorder. When talking about the disorder, most use the scalp or eyebrows as examples, but hair pulling can be from any place on your body, including your pubic hair. Up to 4% of the overall population suffers from the disorder, mainly adults, and while I know from talking to them that many other sufferers pull from their pubic regions, very few are open about it, finding the same shame and insecurity. I hope that by showing my vulva as it is, others can see that they're not alone. 

For more information, check out http://www.bfrb.org/learn-about-bfrbs/trichotillomania

T. - 24 years old

Insecurity

I have a severe insecurity about my vulva and I've been thinking to get surgery in order to make the inner lips smaller since 2014. My first boyfriend told me it was "weird", and because of that commentary I began to search about it and found out that I was different than most girls and every time I meet with a guy I feel very ashamed and worried, I think that someone would think it's ugly. I really try to love myself but its too hard for me. I visit your page regularly and it helps me. I hope I can get over it. Thanks for what you do – it's so appreciable.

A. - 24 years old

My journey

My portrait came.. I love it so much. 

I have been on quite a journey this year with my vulva. I went to a yoni healing. I had a lot of deep issues and pain held deep within my yoni. I had disrespected myself and my precious vulva. I had no conscious understanding of how the vulva opens up and invites the man in for sex. I had painfully had sex for years by not allowing the wetness to be created but for the penetration to occur before she allowed it. 

She should be worshipped as she is the entry point to the world. She holds so much power. 

I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for doing this beautiful portrait for me.. I love it. 

R. - 34 years old

Beautiful as she is

When I was a child, I called my vulva ''Miss Silk''.  It sounds weird but it was her name. Now I call her Mango. She is my juicy and tasty Mango. When my adolescence period started, my vulva changed. In the beginning, these changes annoyed me; I didn't want to see my hairy vulva and I thought she was so ugly. These thoughts and teenage boys' rude and pitiless behaviours affected my sexual life. I started to hate myself. However, I managed to make peace with how she looks. Hairy or shaved; it's no one's business what my vulva looks like. She is beautiful as she is!

S – 24 years old