- Content warning: this story contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors. -
The first time I ever thought about how my vulva looks from a aesthetic point of view, must have been around age 12. My mom had told me about anatomy and body functions since I was a child, so I did know a lot of things my friends didn't know. But one day I came across porn, and I started to think about surgery. I thought I looked weird, considering how all the porn girls/women looked. Then I experienced a rape. It made me think I was dirty. I was confused and scared, and I suddenly forgot how to say no. So I let anyone touch me, in any way they wanted. It didn't matter if it hurt, if it felt good, if I didn't feel it. Now that time has gone by, I've finally found a way to be okay. I've practiced saying no, because realized I am worth it. I don't let anyone touch me before I know that I want to. I look at myself with love, and I know that I look just as natural and okay as anyone else. It took time to get to this point, but I think anyone can do it if I could. I wish everyone would take time to go on a journey of self care. It couldn't be more worth it. And I truly believe that we can overcome terrible things if we understand our worth and importance. One thing that made me feel important and powerful was feminism, and all the things you can do with it. Standing up for yourself, for the people around you, for the society you wish to have.
L. - 18 years old