I can think of so many moments where the opinions of others or the expectations of society led to internalised feelings about my own vulva and labia. Example: I was sixteen, I think, when I was fooling around in the car with my high school boyfriend, and he slipped his hand down my jeans for the first time. No one had done that before and I was really thrilled, but also, super embarrassed because I had a full thick bush... Somewhere along the line (from rumours, porn or Cosmo) I had learned this wasn’t cool, sexy or normal, and I started waxing – full Brazilians that I did myself, secretly in my bedroom. This continued for years until I got older and realised how sexy I think my public hair is, and how annoying it is to worry about waxing it. Now, though I’ve grown it out, it’s sadly not as thick as it used to be, probably from so much waxing. Oh well. Now I love myself with full bush or no hair at all – it’s up to me – and so does my loving partner. It’s amazing and upsetting how social ideas of beauty and sex appeal manifest in our little brains at such a young age, and how much time and effort it can take to unlearn this bullshit. From old boyfriends commenting on my full labia (negatively comparing it to past girlfriends!), to guys in school ridiculing the look/feel of other girls, to not knowing what my longer inner labia even were when I was developing (because sex ed often isn’t comprehensive, body positive or generally empowering for girls), I had to learn/unlearn things with time, on my own. I know these experiences apply to so many people and they build up over time to sneakily create a feeling that you aren’t good enough or normal, but you are! The Vulva Gallery has been huge in contributing to my confidence and growth, and I’ve shared it with so many beautiful friends, many of whom feel somehow less-than because of some attribute of their vulvas/anatomy/hair/whatever. I’m grateful for platforms like this and for all you gorgeous people who support one another and have the courage to be open and honest about your varied bodies. No matter what your vulva looks like or how you feel about it, it’s glorious and sexy and beautiful! Viva la vulva!
R – 28 years old