MY VULVA IS WILD AND FREE

I had such a wonderful relationship with my vulva when I was a little girl. I was mesmerised by the beauty that I could always find in it, and the multitudes of sensations it provided me. This was my natural state, until I was caught at age seven or eight while pleasuring myself. I was shamed and punished severely, without understanding why, and the relationship between us became so complicated. It took my entire adolescence, and then some, to amend that and restore the love and bond that came so naturally to us. I was lucky to have been able to break out from all of the religious and societal pressures that constantly vilified my vulva and my sexuality. My vulva is wild and free.

Where I come from, sharing this kind of portrait and story is extremely dangerous for women. But I am doing it so we can be seen and heard. We refuse to be invisible.

D – 36 years old

I NEED TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH MYSELF

So this is my vulva. We have a love/hate relationship. I think I like the size of my labia but I really hate the color of it. It's darker than the rest me, for my girlfriend I'm overreacting, for me it's way too dark. Also sometimes it makes me sad to see that I have like "texture", isn't smooth as I wish it was. I've Googled if there's some procedure to bleach that part of me, then I feel bad because I know I shouldn't be complaining about this stuff, it really doesn't matter the color of my vulva, it doesn't matter if it doesn't look like most of the porn stars, it matters that is mine, that most of the time I really enjoy having it, that I like how it feels my hair growing because when I'm falling asleep I play with those little or long hairs.

I found this gallery and it made me see that if support and enjoy diversity, I should enjoy me, the diversity of colours I have.

Also I found out that I can see my clit more than I thought haha, which made me realize I need to spend more time with myself.

D – 26 years old

STRONG, EMPOWERED AND BEAUTIFUL

Growing up a teenager, I thought the appearance of my vulva didn't matter: the lover I hoped I was gonna meet was going to love me before ever seeing me naked, so my vulva didn't have to be beautiful because "He will accept me as I am, right?", I thought. 

Then I had a terrible first boyfriend who said my labia were too long, among other things in my body that seemed wrong to him. But I didn't listen to him. Years later, I watched porn for the first time and I was like "What?! all these women have tiny labia!" And I got why mine were criticized at first.

And then it hit my feminist side. Let me tell you: people will project all sorts of things on you. Their fears. Their insecurities. Their standards. Our patriarchal society doesn't like women with strong features. They want tiny labia, tiny feet, tiny noses. They don't want a Serena Williams's body. They want women to look fragile and delicate. But all women, thin or thick, tiny or long labia, can be strong, and empowered, and beautiful. Never let anyone make you think that your vulva is abnormal or ugly. Never ever. Diversity is beautiful, not the standards in people's heads or magazines. I always loved my vulva despite what people said and I hope you do too!”

T – 23 years old

HERE I AM

I would proudly say I'm a feminist but when it comes to my vulva and its surrounding hair my female assurance falters. All I had seen as a teenager was hair and the first few men I was with that's what I had, no issue. As I grew older I became aware that societal expectations didn't agree with mine. What was normal? I obsessed; googled and read articles and quizzed friends. I tried shaving, I feared its effects weren't 'perfect' enough. I got waxed at eighteen, mortified when they asked if I wanted my bumhole done, I couldn't afford to maintain that. I plucked it bare, I still have scars from digging out hairs as they regrew. I epilated. At uni I shaved obsessively, scared of judgement, and it being the 'norm'. Now, I'm happily in a long-term relationship and he reassures me he does not care, but still I shave it all, apologise when I've not kept on top of it. Personally, however, I feel more woman when I'm not bare. I'm working on owning what I am ultimately, personally, most at ease with. So here I am, sharing this image, hair and all. 

G – 26 years old

THERE'S NO STANDARD VULVA

I discovered The Vulva Gallery by chance, to be more precise thanks to serendipity. It made me want to share my experience as it made me realise that there is still much to be done on body- and vulva acceptance :) 

From a very early age I was intrigued and at the same time disgusted by the 'piece of flesh' hanging between my legs. This distaste grew stronger during adolescence and particularly in my first sexual relations: how to position myself to prevent from seeing by vulva, make sure all lights are off. Cunnilingus: out of question!

I always felt my vulva was different. I soon began to search myself on the Internet, search for pictures to compare, find one that would resemble mine. It would appear that the only available documentation at this time was porn, where all girls were completely "smooth": definitely my vulva was wrong.

When I was around 26 years old, I finally got the courage to go and see a plastic surgeon.  What a relief when this last one confirmed I had a "defect", with a proper medical term that I do not remember.

Quotation in hand, I felt the need to talk to friends about the possible operation. I who had never found the courage to speak about this complex, I felt relieved to share it. They listened understandingly without disgust, and I learnt that I wasn't alone. I remember this friend asking me: "But did one of your boyfriend ever made a remark?”. The answer to this question awakened me: "No".

Following this, I decided to postpone the operation or at least the idea of it. Just having “my secret” revealed had lifted the burden from my shoulders.

Sometime later, I had a passionate love story with a man that helped me see the beauty of my body. I shared with him my complex that he didn’t understand as my vagina reminded him of a "little cherry". With him, I really learnt to let go.

To summarise, I am really pleased to see these initiatives grow; initiatives that strengthens the educational power of internet and social media. I do hope that it will help girls better know and accept their body and its diversity as no, there’s no standard vulva.

So many thanks for your gallery :)

C – 30 years old

YOUR ASYMMETRY IS NORMAL

At age 13, I found myself comparing my vulva to those of pornstars. My inner labia protruded a little bit, my skin looked "wrinkly" and one of my labia was bigger than the other. I just felt something was wrong with me. At age 14, I went to my doctor and told her of my concerns and of wanting a labiaplasty surgical procedure. I even contemplated cutting them off myself for one moment. I had some friends as a teenager that always discussed their "perfect vaginas" nonchalantly and would even criticise vulvas that didn't look like theirs. My first boyfriend in high school once said to me, "Your vagina doesn't look like a pornstar's vagina." Although I still have days of insecurity, I have finally come to accept and love my vulva, at age 22. It was a journey, indeed.

Additional words: I just received your drawing in the mail and it is PERFECT!!! I teared up. I felt a warmth in me, simultaneously from seeing something that so accurately resembles me, alongside me realizing that I am normal and beautiful just as I am. Thank you. 

As I look at the drawing, I realized that the main reason I'd want this to be published in time on your instagram page, is that I want people to be able to feel/know their asymmetry is normal, just like mine.

L – 22 years old

VIVA LA VULVA!

I can think of so many moments where the opinions of others or the expectations of society led to internalised feelings about my own vulva and labia. Example: I was sixteen, I think, when I was fooling around in the car with my high school boyfriend, and he slipped his hand down my jeans for the first time. No one had done that before and I was really thrilled, but also, super embarrassed because I had a full thick bush... Somewhere along the line (from rumours, porn or Cosmo) I had learned this wasn’t cool, sexy or normal, and I started waxing – full Brazilians that I did myself, secretly in my bedroom. This continued for years until I got older and realised how sexy I think my public hair is, and how annoying it is to worry about waxing it. Now, though I’ve grown it out, it’s sadly not as thick as it used to be, probably from so much waxing. Oh well. Now I love myself with full bush or no hair at all – it’s up to me – and so does my loving partner. It’s amazing and upsetting how social ideas of beauty and sex appeal manifest in our little brains at such a young age, and how much time and effort it can take to unlearn this bullshit. From old boyfriends commenting on my full labia (negatively comparing it to past girlfriends!), to guys in school ridiculing the look/feel of other girls, to not knowing what my longer inner labia even were when I was developing (because sex ed often isn’t comprehensive, body positive or generally empowering for girls), I had to learn/unlearn things with time, on my own. I know these experiences apply to so many people and they build up over time to sneakily create a feeling that you aren’t good enough or normal, but you are! The Vulva Gallery has been huge in contributing to my confidence and growth, and I’ve shared it with so many beautiful friends, many of whom feel somehow less-than because of some attribute of their vulvas/anatomy/hair/whatever. I’m grateful for platforms like this and for all you gorgeous people who support one another and have the courage to be open and honest about your varied bodies. No matter what your vulva looks like or how you feel about it, it’s glorious and sexy and beautiful! Viva la vulva!

R – 28 years old

LOOK, WE AREN'T ALONE!

It all started when I was about fourteen or fifteen. I noticed that my vulva was ‘bigger’ than most. Bigger than those I saw in porn. Bigger than bathing suit models. And as a dancer, I was very self-conscious in my daily uniform of a leotard and tights. I started watching porn early on and quickly learned that big labia were hardly ever featured in videos. All the vulvas I saw were really small, which was so opposite from mine.

I also had a hernia surgery at age eight and have a small scar on top of my vulva. I remember being a teen and overhearing boys joking about vulvas and thinking to myself, ‘Thats me! I have that’, and being absolutely disgusted with my own labia and worried no boy would ever like me. I would look at myself in the mirror and tuck my labia up into my vagina. I remember looking up labiaplasty as young as fifteen years old because I felt something was so wrong with how my vulva looked.

With age, open conversations with my gyno and even close friends, and an amazing boyfriend who makes me feel sexy no matter what, I have come to love the size, shape, feel and look of my big labia. I only wish I knew more women/young girls had very similar vulvas and thoughts about their vulvas when I was fifteen. That's my story.

I also want to personally thank you for bringing something that was never discussed into the mainstream focus and helping people like myself feel more confident. I honestly feel like The Vulva Gallery opened me up to a world of amazing people all going through exactly what I have felt! I remember sending the Instagram page to my roommate and being like: ‘Look, we aren't alone!!’

C – 25 years old

HAPPY, HEALTHY AND UNIQUE

This is a very happy vulva/vagina. I just got off of my period, had a lovely orgasm with my partner, and most importantly, I am SO damn confident in how I look! Your gallery has tremendously helped me love my vulva for the way it is. I spent four years hiding it behind a giant bush, mortified of anyone seeing how ugly it is. But after seeing so many different vulvas in your gallery, I’ve realized mine is supposed to be unique, and that there’s no such thing an ugly vulva. So I finally shaved the other night! And it looks so cute. I love it (and I may or may not be guilty of telling it hello this morning lol). So if you’re out there, hiding your vulva from the world because you hate how it looks, just remember, it’s supposed to be that way. No two genitalia are the same, male or female, so love yourself and embrace what you look like down there.

Here’s to all of your happy, healthy, and unique nether regions ♡

H – 20 years old

EMPOWERED BY MY DIFFERENCES

I was not taught about sexuality at a younger age, except to abstain. The only vulvas I had ever seen were mine and immediate family from walking in on them in the restroom. Mine always appeared so different than my mother and sister's, and I felt something was wrong with mine because it was smaller and the inner labia weren't long. Through life, and experience I now have a much different view. Now that I've grown older I realise that each body is different. I feel empowered by my differences and hope that each person can embrace her body and the beauty it holds. When I found this gallery I fell in love with the message and am so thankful to be a part of it.

N – 27 years old

I DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE A THING

I remember well the process of how my vulva changed when I reached puberty, and also how I thought it was exciting and not shameful in any way. That changed when I became older and suddenly started to feel more ashamed about my body. I started to think about if there was something wrong with my vulva, was there too much hair and did it look different? Today I’m almost back to the stage where I can just enjoy and be relaxed with what my vulva looks like. But I have to keep reminding myself when the bad thoughts come that I know what’s best for my body and that I don’t have to change a thing just to satisfy someone else. I think this account is amazing in showing there is diversity and that all vulvas are beautiful ♥️

– K.

DIFFERENT IS NOT DEFORMED

I always had a good relationship with my vulva until I started sharing it with others. Words cannot describe the feelings of disgust and shame I had. I always thought I had a fat 'vagina' I would hide it with loose clothes otherwise I was convinced people would think I had a penis. My labia were so long that they got tangled and my partner's would struggle to get through. My hair was always thick and rough which often caused chafing. I ignored my vulva, always, unless I was gritting by teeth through the embarrassing moments when my abnormal body would betray me. Moments I was suppose to be enjoying. That was until I had a daughter. She was born with very unique labia. Upon the hospitals regular inspection after birth her labia were noted as deformed! My question was "deformed compared to what?" Her body still functions perfectly, she is not in pain or suffering. She is perfect just the ways she is. I'm determined that she will know that we are all unique. That different is not deformed. I'm sharing my vulva with you, it's hiding under a generous mons pubis, robust protective pubic hair, covered in scars and blood. I'm not gritting my teeth anymore.

– K.

FROM CASUAL FRIENDS TO BFFs

I’ve always loved my vulva, but I’ve hardly shown it any physical love. I didn’t look at my vulva in the mirror until I was seventeen. And it would be a number of years before I did it again. I know that there is no right or wrong about how much you should masturbate. But I know I can easily say I’ve done it less than a hundred times, and I’m in my late twenties. And I think I want to change that. I want my vulva and I to become the best buddies there ever were. 

(Update):
The last couple of months have been revolutionary for my vulva and me. In just over two months, I've tripled the number of times that I've masturbated. Last night alone, I spent about two hours exploring myself. Plus, my long-term partner and I have had some very open and honest conversations, resulting in some of the best sex in our ten-year relationship. I feel like I've arrived late to the game, especially since I did not grow up in a sexually repressed home. But it's okay, since now my vulva and I have gone from casual friends to BFFs who love spending time together. 

K – 28 years old

A CUTE PUPPY

My relationship with my vulva has been difficult. I was uncomfortable with the changes that puberty brought. I come from a conservative Western country where bodies are generally viewed as shameful and where bodies should be covered – and conversations around the fact that all sorts of vulvas are ‘normal’ don’t happen often. If my relationship with my vulva wasn’t difficult enough, my first boyfriend made horrible comments about my body throughout our relationship, including my vulva (even to our friends). He made me so self-conscious that I hated cunnilingus and I believed that nobody else would find my vulva attractive.

The expectations of men have driven me to hate my body (and I’m an average white woman who meets Western beauty standards!). The same light-skinned, hairless, symmetrical vulvas are everywhere, and I had always wanted one of those ‘perfect pussies’. But your project is making a difference and I love it. I think it’s so important to not let anyone grow up hating their vulva or any other part of their body. It has taken years and yet I’m still learning how to love my body and forget what other people might think of it.

Now that I’ve come this far I can say: no, my pussy does not look like anything my ex-boyfriend called it. It looks like a cute puppy. Or a friendly bear. And I love it!

L – 28 years old

NATURE MADE IT PERFECTLY

This gallery has given me the push toward self love that I needed, and by becoming a part of it I hope I can have a hand in helping people with vulvas like mine feel that same encouragement. Every person and every body is unique, and in that uniqueness is beauty. When we look at a flower we don’t judge it, we just admire it, flaws and all, because nature made it perfectly. That’s how we should view humans. We are all made exactly the way we’re meant to be. And we are beautiful.

J – 25 years old

ALL BODIES ARE DIFFERENT, INCLUDING THE VULVA

I’ve never really thought of the vulva to be something that should look “perfect” or that it should look a specific way, but as I got older I noticed that there was. I have luckily never felt insecure about that part of my body, and I think that this comes from my knowledge that all bodies are different, including the vulva.

I am happy to now be a part of if this gallery, and inform people about the different looks of our vulvas.

I – 19 years old

MY HAIR

I have always had a lot of body hair. My hair is a lot and thick. Before I even discovered my vulva I was told to stop washing it with soap due to vaginal pH imbalance that used to make me suffer a lot. When I discovered my vulva I became very paranoid about how it smelled, because I wasn't using soap and have a lot of hair. I worried it smelled bad. In reality it didn't. However, I developed a vulva washing ritual that also involved making my partner wash his genitalia as often as I did. It wasn't until my mid 20's when I realised why my vaginal pH balance was still being disturbed. Why I was getting more infections than I would've liked. Not removing my pubic hair was what stopped the infections. I now get infected very rarely. Also, in my mid 20's I decided to stop getting anxious about: what if my partner asks me to shave my pubic hair. I explain why not and break the relationship if they insist. Men have made negative comments about my pubic hair, so have female members of my family. I don't keep all of my hair but what is shown on the photo. I just can't get used to the idea of leaving all my pubic hair on. I also had insecurities about my inner labia, because I compared it with my mother's and sisters, which looked different from mine and I therefore thought mine had a defect. I wish for a world where in sex education - where it exists - children and teenagers are told to explore their genitalia and inform them about differences, and health care is widely available. Whilst education should start at home, sex education needs to start at school, so future generations are educating their children.

A – 35 years old

A LIBERATING AND CATHARTIC JOURNEY

Over the last year I have gone through a lot of changes; personally, professionally, geographically and physically. This has been a liberating and cathartic journey, searching for self-acceptance and radical self-love. I knew I wanted to participate in The Vulva Gallery because I hadn’t seen one featured that looked just liked me. I was also terrified of writing a blurb, because blurbs give me anxiety, but anxiety can be good. I have found so much happiness seeing so many different vulvas, and wished this was a thing when I was a teen so that I could have actually loved my body. 

L – 26 years old

YOUR HAPPINESS IS WORTH IT

I grew up in a strict religion and without much knowledge of sexuality. Sure, as a teen, I snuck a peek at a couple of Playboys I encountered, but it was always just a brief glance at the photos before I got caught. While beautiful, the women seemed to all have very similar body types, and while I now realize I was almost certainly looking at ladies who had opted for cosmetic surgery, at the time, my body didn't seem to measure up. I battled body dysmorphia and eating disorders over the years. After a lot of therapy and support, I finally reached a place of self-acceptance, and eventually, love. I have found that taking photos of my body, even just for my own viewing, has helped me to see myself in a more endearing light. I even think I'm pretty cute these days! I'm nearing my 5th decade, and I want to say to all of those who struggle with loving their bodies - please keep trying. You are worth it. Your happiness is worth it.

– L.

ENDOMETRIOSIS AND SELF LOVE

This is my vulva 6 weeks post op having had 2 large endometriomas removed from my ovary and bladder and my tubes unblocked to give me a better chance of falling pregnant. 1 in 10 women have endometriosis and the physical symptoms are debilitating. But what about the other side of endo. The stuff no one says. The part where due to the pain and the constant bleeding you forget how to feel beautiful. You forget sensuality, your sexuality - how to feel feminine. How do you love your vulva, your body - enjoy intimacy with another person when pleasure and climax is no longer enjoyable? Endo can take over.

This has been my hardest journey. To maintain positive mental health and show kindness to my body when to be touched is rarely an option. Learning intimacy in other forms and self acceptance beyond the physical. Finding my femininity again and sensuality and beauty within myself, my sensitivity and my strength. When I stare at this vulva, I don’t think about long labia or short labia or hair or hairlessness. I only want to live pain free. I only want to give kindness and self love to my body after the trauma it has been through. Yoga has been my saviour and the instagram endo community xx

– M.